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Holiday Mishaps, Flubs, Crazy Occurances and such

chef jimmyj

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I'm sure this time of year everyone is Busy Planning and getting Ready to put on or go to an elaborate Holiday Meal. I'm betting you guys have Stories of the Year, SOMETHING went Wrong and at the Worst moment.
Big or Small, tell us about the Crazy Stuff that you have seen during this Holiday Season...MERRY CHRISTMAS.

In my Wife's Family, her local brothers, sisters and Mom, would alternate the Christmas Day Gathering. One year, we were at her oldest brothers house. Bucky had a beautiful and huge 3 year old Great Dane. We were in the kitchen preparing dinner when the Dane came in to be taken out for a Potty break.
My BIL went to get the dogs Leash.
I had just opened a 5 Pound block of VELVETA to make Queso. I set the Cheese on the Table so I could get a couple cans of Rotel. I had only turned my back for a couple of SECONDS! When I returned to the table, the Cheese was Gone!
We found the Dane in the next room Licking the Foil Wrapping Clean!😨We had Chips an Salsa to snack on...JJ😂
 

Sowsage

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This reminds me one year I made a big crock pot of queso that included a ground meat......after my mother in-laws third helping Ivy finaly told her it was venison.....lmao! She didnt speak to us for the next hour.. (She refuses to eat venison)
 

Brokenhandle

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Funny thing about those great danes...countertops are nose level for them! We were at a rendezvous and Shelly was laying out bacon in a cast iron pan getting ready to put it on the fire, turned around for just a second and when she turned back around there was an opening in the pan. Now she could've sworn the pan was full...then she looked at our red Dobie, Angel, who was standing there licking her lips! Guess she was impatient!

Ryan
 

Brokenhandle

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Not sure what time of the year this happened, my uncle told me about it. We live in the house my dad and all his siblings grew up in. Back then there was a chimney going up through the living room, house had a coal burner in it for heat, with a clean out cap in the living room. They were sitting and having breakfast when the coal burner seemed to do something and blew the cap out of the chimney in the dining room, throwing soot all over. I can still remember my uncle saying...and they were such good eggs!

Ryan
 

mneeley490

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Here's mine.

 

motocrash

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About 6 years ago I did a whole beef tenderloin for Christmas dinner, sliced enough to feed everyone (the humans) and left the rest ( ~ 4 lbs) on the countertop. After dining, I returned to the kitchen to find the tenderloin gone, not a trace, nary a spot on the floor, poof - gone! I was mad but didn't catch the thief in the act but he got a scolding. I'm thinking he's probably gonna puke soon, nope. Ok, he's gonna be miserable, nope. Alright then, he's gonna get all plugged up/constipated from all that meat, nope, pooping fine the next day. But he hasn't stolen anything from the counter ever since.

The thief, AKA Oscar.

Oscar Cookin.jpg
 

Brokenhandle

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Look at those eyes... I'm sure Oscar is innocent ! :emoji_wink:

Ryan
 

civilsmoker

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Well I don’t remember what day it was (about 2 years ago) but we had a very nice meal of beef ribs planned and had put the ribs on for a nice slow roast and went to preparing the other stuff. I had put the ribs on the pellet so it would be simple and I wouldn’t have to baby sit them. So after doing a bunch of kitchen stuff, I figured I better check I the ribs.........when the first thing I noticed WAY TOO much smoke......and I’m thinking agh the burner pot must be dirty and the pellets aren’t burning right.........well since I was wrong to not keep an I on the smoke, I was wrong again.....when I opened the door to the porch the first thing that hits me is the smell and the second is I see the temp on the smoker and it is pegged at 650 degrees....I’m like ohhhhh snap!!!! So I tell the boy to grab the “big” salt container and I proceed to the smoker and open it to inspect the ribs.....well I was wrong again, they were not ribs at all but they were flaming logs a fire! The actually bones were burning.....in all my life I have never ever seen bones burn like wood but if you get them got enough they do burn!!!!! So I unplugged the smoker and dumped a payload of salt on the charred fuel source and proudly walked in the house and said who wants to go get pizza with me!!!

of course there are two lessons here.....the first never leave any smoker unwatched and the second is any good smoker also has the pizza place phone number on speed dial cause even take out makes for a very successful meal! Lol
 

Fueling Around

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This is close to 50 years ago.
My mother hosted her sister and family for a meal.
Mom decided a single beef roast wasn't enough so pulled another "roast" from the freezer.

My father left on a fire call before the meal was served.
After returning, he looked at the table and asked "how was the moose roast?"

My aunt asked which is the moose. When pointed out she sampled and could not eat. She admitted it was delectable until knowing it was moose.
 

chef jimmyj

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Great stuff guys! Between lesson learned with my BIL''s Great Dane and our Den of Thieves, we have had Child/Dog Poof Gates on the kitchen accesses for years.

My Dad was one of those that refused to eat any Game or Exotic meat. Summer of 97, I was consuiting for an EMU Farm, developing recipes and doing Demos on TV, local news and for potential clients. The owner gave me about 100 pounds of assorted cuts to play with. If you not tried it, EMU tastes exactly like grass fed Beef. Anyway, while visiting my parents I took a Fan Filet, part of the leg that resembles a Flank Steak. And an actual Beef Flank Steak and grilled them the same way . I asked everyone what they thought of the meat. Dad commented that the one was more tender and tasty than the other.
I revealed that he preferred the EMU to the Beef. Dad gave me a Tongue Lashing for Tricking him...Then he finished the last 4 slices of EMU!
Seems Dad's aversion to eating Game or Exotic meat was because, he just never had Well Prepared Game or Exotics. Dad was more open to trying new things after that and had Ostrich and the Venison I brought on our later trips out. Dad and Mom, both very old school, learned to enjoy Juicy Pink Pork as well!...JJ
 

Fueling Around

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Delivered a platter of Christmas cookies to one of my bosses a couple years back.
They sampled a few before leaving for supper with his brother (my other boss) that evening.
Returned home to an empty plate as the dog cleaned it.

Luckily they got more cookies after supper as I had delivered a larger platter to other brother before the family dinner.
 

chef jimmyj

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I had a Mishap...At tonight's Supper.
I spent a couple of hours making a pot of Coney Sauce/Texas Weiner Chili Sauce for Hot Dogs. I made up a beautiful plate. 3 Dogs, a thin bead of Yellow Mustard, a big heap of super fine Minced Sweet Onion and a Serving spoonful of Chili to hold everything together! My Wife added a pile of Steak Fries and brought the Plate, with a 20oz Mug of Sweet Tea, out to the living room. We were going to eat and watch Football.
I had taken my eyes off the plate for a second, to retrieve the Salt on a table next to me...
When our Female Pit/Boxer Puppy, jumped up to see my AMAZING CREATION. Her front paws hit the edge of the snack table and sent the Chili Dogs, Fries and Tea to the Floor!!! I let out such a loud NOOO, that all three of our Dogs cleared the area knowing I was Not Happy! My Daughter cleaned the bulk of the mess and the dogs came back to help. There is a huge Chili Stain in the rug, but the Living Room smeels Great!
Bev made me another plate, no where near as Perfect, and we ate some Great Chili Dogs. You gotta Love then but those Dang Puppies and their Excitability can make a mess!...JJ
 

BandCollector

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The key is to accidentally drop the turkey into the coals as you're trying to remove it from your UDS.

For some reason the cooking grate slipped off of its anchors and down he went! Very exciting experience!

Needles to say, I extended the length of the anchors after that.

Merry Christmas,

John
 

noboundaries

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No smoking, but a holiday disaster.

My Italian mother was BIG into family traditions. The TG to Christmas period was daily baking and cooking. TG was turkey and ham. Christmas Eve was seven different fish dishes, with lots of calamari, shrimp, scallops, smelt, and cod served different ways. Lots of fried dishes. Even the cauliflower was fried in the same oil as the fish. The meal finished with cookies and dessert breads that were heavily anised, dry, and meant to be consumed with lots of wine (watered down wine as a kid). Christmas Day was leftovers supplemented with another turkey and ham. I loved everything mom made and grew up with those flavors each year.

Then I married a beef raised, non-fish eating west Texan. We spent 6 weeks on our honeymoon sightseeing on a drive from Texas to California, my next duty assignment. We arrived the day before I had to report to SERE (Survival-Evasion-Resistance-Escape) training. Dropped off my new wife with my folks and took off for ten days away, five with basically little to no food. Dreams of the coming feast kept me going during sleepless, shivering nights in a box or a freezing 17-degree foxhole spooning some big P-3 LCDR for body heat under a few parachute panels. I finished the training and arrived home on Dec 23rd.

Mom laid out the Christma's Eve feast in the mid-afternoon. First course was tomato calamari soup in mom's best China. My wife took one look at the tentacles in the soup and almost hurled right at the table. A few steamed shrimp saved the meal for her, but I actually had to take her to a Micky D's later that night for dinner.

Oh, and my wife hates anise flavor, so not even the cookies were eaten. I don't think my mom ever forgave her for not enjoying that meal.
 
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Fueling Around

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I'm Norse. I would have loved to eat a fine Italian meal. Your fish sounds a helluva lot better than lutefish.
...
Then I married a beef raised, non-fish eating west Texan.
...
Another military mixed family?
... spooning some big P-3 LCDR for body heat under a few parachute panels.
...
You're brave admitting that feat.
 

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