Warren I'm sorry for your loss and all your hard times. There are no words I can say to make anything better. You and your family are in my prayers.
If there is any escape here on the forum please do not hesitate to talk, post, or conversate over anything in general.
I think for all of us across the world, interacting here may be something good we can do for you, and honestly there can be a lot of healing and comfort in these hard times with us here. Even though there is a screen and a world of internet between us, help, support, and connection is available here with this wonderful SMF community. Please take as much as you want and/or need.
It does help :)