You may be a BBQ/Smoke addict if...

Discussion in 'Messages for All Guests and Members' started by mossymo, Jun 14, 2011.

  1. mossymo

    mossymo Master of the Pit OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    Saw these at Burnin' Love BBQ and felt the need to share...

    …the term “going whole hog” isn’t metaphorical at your house

    …your neighbors have complained to your home owner’s association about “second hand smoke”

    …you wore a brown wedding dress so the rib sauce wouldn’t show…

    …you’ve ever used the phrase, “rub my butt” in front of your mother

    …you have been brought to violence at the sight of a “McRib Sandwich”

    …you demand that your spouse of 30 years leave the kitchen when you make a batch of your “secret” bbq sauce

    …there are more barbecues/smokers/grills on your deck than you have people living in your house

    …you’ve ever made your child go outside at 3am to “check the pig”

    …you take a notepad and pen to the zoo, in case you get an idea for a new recipe

    …you’ve ever had to adjust your cook-time for “blizzard-like conditions”

    …you have the only 6 y/o on your block with a hibachi instead of an Easy-Bake Oven

    …you can recite the exact “pull temps” for beef, pork, and chicken, but can’t remember your zip code

    …you’ve forcibly removed someone from your house for using ketchup

    …you grow 6 kinds of peppers, but your lawn has been dead for a year

    …You’re no longer allowed to recite “your version” of The 3 Little Pigs to your children/grandchildren

    …you’ve ever removed a wedding picture from a frame, because it was the only one that your “Best in Pork” certificate would fit in.

    …you’ve ever stabbed someone with a meat thermometer for touching your tongs

    …you named your twin daughters “Kingsford” & “Brinkmann”

    …you wish Glade Plug-Ins came in Hickory and Mesquite

    …your spouse has ever accused you of loving your grill more than them, and you replied, “Which one?”
     
  2. nwdave

    nwdave Master of the Pit SMF Premier Member

    OK, I confess to the following ones in red. 
     
     
  3. adiochiro3

    adiochiro3 Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    The wife and I had a few LOLs over that one!
     
  4. meateater

    meateater Smoking Guru SMF Premier Member

    Glade Plug Ins..........HHMmmmmmmm!
     
  5. Thank for the good belly laugh Mossey...some of these really hit home...[​IMG]
     
  6. scarbelly

    scarbelly Smoking Guru OTBS Member

    I guess it might be an issue if you match up with more than a few of them [​IMG]
     
  7. bearcarver

    bearcarver Smoking Guru OTBS Member

    Good one---I hit a few, but another one would fit us pretty good.

    "You have BBQ sauce on your camera."

    But that might be only us SMFers!

    Bear
     
  8. jirodriguez

    jirodriguez Master of the Pit OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    need to add: "All your neighbors conveniently show up at your front door every Saturday and Sunday right around 5 pm with paper plates in their hands!"
     
  9. I hit a couple. I guess I need to work harder.

    Have you ever cut your grass and found a smoker?
     
  10. desertlites

    desertlites Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    The DOT officer scratches his- her head & smiles upon seeing your smoker secured on your catwalk during a level 1 inspection .
     
  11. africanmeat

    africanmeat Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    Thank it is funny

     
     
  12. bearcarver

    bearcarver Smoking Guru OTBS Member

    [​IMG]-----To Scott !
     
  13. smokey mo

    smokey mo Smoking Fanatic OTBS Member

    I think my eyes have stopped watering...woo.  I got almost 100%...that's a good thing right?
     
  14. bearcarver

    bearcarver Smoking Guru OTBS Member

    LOL---Depends on who's doing the review. Around here that would be outstanding !

    Bear
     
  15. beer-b-q

    beer-b-q Smoking Guru OTBS Member

    Good ones, but shouldn't Glade Plug-Ins also come in "Bacon Scented"...
     
    smokey mo likes this.
  16. smokey mo

    smokey mo Smoking Fanatic OTBS Member


    That's what I told Mrs. Smokey!
     
  17. nwdave

    nwdave Master of the Pit SMF Premier Member

    Thanks, I needed that.  It's good to have a hearty laugh once in a while.
     
     
  18. dnvrdv

    dnvrdv Smoke Blower

    @ NWDave..

    …you’ve forcibly removed someone from your house for using ketchup

    Your son?
     
  19. nwdave

    nwdave Master of the Pit SMF Premier Member

    Well, you have to understand.  You're talking about my #1 son who breaks out in a cold sweat if the house stockpile of ketchup gets below a gallon.  Takes after his grandfather.  I  swear he (his grandfather) had a ketchup bottle in his back pocket, just in case........

    Now that he's full grown now, there's no forcibly removals anymore, unless you want to give me a hand, that is.

     
     
  20. jirodriguez

    jirodriguez Master of the Pit OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    .... my wife pointed out a few that we all missed.

    ".....if you can take pictures of your meat and post it on the internet, and it has no sexual conotations what-so-ever!"

    ".....if you have used the phrase "meat porn" in a sentance"

    [​IMG]
     
    smokey mo likes this.

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