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Thanksgiving Dinners gone bad!

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by jirodriguez, Nov 23, 2010.

  1. jirodriguez

    jirodriguez Master of the Pit OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    Being that festive time of year when family and friends gather I am sure many of us have either created or participated in a Thanksgiving dinner gone horribly wrong. So bring a smile to our faces and re-tell your favorite/worst Thanksgiving dinner!

         My worst Thanksgiving dinner was two years ago. My mother-in-law is one of those people that has grand plans for cooking these big family meals, but A) grew up cooking out of boxes, and B) grew up thinking if it has flavor it is unhealthy and/or bad for you. So knowing what we were in for my family and I stopped on the way out to my mother-in-laws and grabbed some burgers so we would already be somewhat full when we got there and could eat just the bare minumum to be polite.

         Little did we know that this year my mother-in-law had decided to switch out the turkey for a whole bone in ham. But rather than cook it in the oven she had bought one of those nifty $20 counter top roaster ovens - you know those ones that have a rack in the bottom part then a lid that goes on top, and an electric element for heat with the cool little dial for setting the temp? A real quality item that one.... NOT!

         So she decided to put the ham in that P.O.S., set the temp., and proceeded to ignore it for the rest of the day. She proceeded with the usuall fair of things like Jello and fruit cocktail salad topped with Cool Whip, cocktail weiners a-la BBQ sauce, a puree of shrimp, cream cheese, cilantro, and cocktail sauce served on crackers, and many other things that I chose to skip.

         After appetizer time everybody gathered for dinner at the table. We had mashed potatos - litteraly just potato's mashed with a little of the water they cooked in no salt, no butter, no milk, no pepper, nada! And that years green been casserol was a tad mushy in that she didn't have frozen or fresh green beens to start with so she used 4 cans of french cut green beans - it all turned into a pile of green mush with french fried onions on top. The stuffing was almost edible, but it had to much liquid in it and had formed a very nice grayish paste. The kids liked the yams - probably due to the fact that they were swimming in melted butter and brown sugar and topped with about 3" of marshmallows.

         Then came the ham......... *sigh*..... this ham had sat in that little oven thing for at least 12 hrs. When whe pulled the lid off there was a tiny puff of steam, which apperantly was the last remaining bit of moisture in the entire thing. Because when they went to cut it, it just fell appart and litteraly looked like chipped beef. It was so bad that when my wife was asking the kids it they wanted seconds she was unable to identify the type of meat it had been, so she just had to ask "Who wants...... meat?". Even my wifes sister and her family were unable to identify what type of "meat" it was -  that became our inside joke of the evening "Who wants.... meat?".

       I know my mother-in-law tries, and she loves having all the family over, but sometimes you just want to cry.... lol. And yes I have offered to bring a smoked turkey or ham, or have them come to our house, but she insists on doing it all her way.... *sigh*. At least the day after Thanksgiving will be good, because that is when we cook our own dinner for the left overs!

    Hope everybody has a Happy Thanksgiving and stays safe!!

  2. ecto1

    ecto1 Master of the Pit Group Lead OTBS Member

    Worst thanksgiving day ever was 99 when I was in the Republic of Korea.  I was a Soldier and had duty that day so was not able to attend the unit thanksgiving function.  I was sent a plate but it was cold and not as good as home.  Come to think of it that was my only bad Thanksgiving experience.  This is by far my favorite holiday all about the food no pressure with the gifts.  As an added bonus it is the one time of the year I can usualy bet I wont see my mother in law as she has always planned Thanksgiving with her son and not my wife.
  3. eman

    eman Smoking Guru Staff Member Moderator OTBS Member

    Now that the statute of limitations has passed.

     My buddy and i had an apartment that we rented from his uncle when we were seniors in high school.  we decided to cook thanksgiving dinner for the girlfriends and made a big pan of special dressing wed. morning and put it in the fridge for thanksgiving day. We went out wed night to some of the local watering holes we could get into. came home around midnight to find his uncle and dad sitting at our table laughing there asses off.

    They had consumed about 1/2 the pan of our dressing.

     We had to call his mom and aunt and tell them that they had drank to many beers and couldn't drive. then we had to explain to them why they enjoyed our dressing so much.

     It ended up a everyone just keep your mouth shut deal.
  4. meateater

    meateater Legendary Pitmaster SMF Premier Member

    This wasn't a bad one just not thanksgiving to me, happened about 20 years ago.  My younger brother insisted I have Thanksgiving at his then girlfriends parents house. I knew her a few of her brothers and finally relented. So we arrive and I smell basil, tomato, sausage, lots of garlic.... getting the picture? Well there wasn't a bird in sight nor a ham. [​IMG]  I have to say the spread was awesome but man I was looking forward to turkey and all the fixins. [​IMG]
  5. jirodriguez

    jirodriguez Master of the Pit OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

     Hmmmm.... sounds similar to the special brownies I got into when I was 2 yrs. old..... lol. Never been right since, just ask my wife! [​IMG]
  6. rdknb

    rdknb Master of the Pit OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    LOL eman too funny
  7. mballi3011

    mballi3011 Epic Pitmaster OTBS Member SMF Premier Member


    Now that was good one Bob.