Smokin’ Screw-Ups

[acemakr]

There have been some really fabulous postings here on the SMF that pretty much tout the wonderfulness of most everyone’s expertise.

I’ve seen very little about mistakes – we all make them and as I was reminded, we mostly get to eat them also. It’s common knowledge that we learn from mistakes so I’m wondering how many of you are willing to ‘open the kimono’ and share with us some of your screw-ups.

I’ll start – several years ago, I got my first smoker from Cabelas. I couldn’t wait to get it home, load it up, fire it- -up and commence to chowing down as soon as possible. The first ribs took about 14 hours – what I didn’t realize was the Big Chief is a smoker. Not a cooker. From then on, I was a bit more careful and paid attention to what I was buying.

 

[triplebq]

Too damn funny . I will play . My first smoke I bought a brisket flat already trimmed . Did everything just like everyone had told me . Everything was going perfect until we tried to eat the damn thing . Me and my friend ( who will remain nameless to protect the dude ) had our g/fs or wives over and went to slicing . Damn thing was corned beef ! God I hate me some corn beef . We had ice cold beer , corn and the works . Ended up buying out from the onlky place in town .. the local DQ ! Dude I have many . It took many cansa of Schlitz to wash that taste out.

 

[jak757]

I imagine that I'm not alone with this one.

During one of my first smokes I had a hard time getting my coals to get to that glowing state so that I could put the meat on. So I did what many a man would do -- accelerated the fire -- with a nice big healthy dousing of lighter fluid.

Got the fire going!

The pork though had the distinct flavor of petroleum, and left a nasty, filmy feel and taste in the mouth.

I learned about using a chimney shortly after that.

 

[meat hunter]

So far, I'd say I've been pretty lucky. I have oversmoked a few things or read a recipe wrong and used more of a certain ingredient, but they were all fairly edible.

As far as a major screw-up, I would say it was my first Turkey. I didn't know about jacking the temps up to crisp the skin. Brined it, smoked it, and had it for supper. The meat flavor was great, but the skin, well it was like chewing on a rubberband. And believe me, I tried to chew it up. I would have had better luck trying to chew up a tire iron.

 

[chisoxjim]

No real mistakes to speak of, just tweaking of my rub recipe(heat level, ammount, etc), and trying new things & new smokers over the past years. Once I got the basics down and a good smoker(GOSM, & now the WSM), good, consistant bbq is pretty easy.

I post my smokes as they progress from when I buy the meat til I take the pics of the finished product, so what I post is what it is, no hiding any bad smokes that way.

 

[acemakr]

As I read, I was anticipating you're singing your eyebrows off.

 

[meat hunter]

I forgot about this one. It was one of my first smokes. A bunch of chicken thighs and some other things, I forget what they were. Anyhow, it was one of the very first times using my new stick burner. I did the ole burn the wood down to coals in a separate barrel and then transferred the coals to my firebox. After a while, I couldn't get my temps up so I added some wood to the firebox and then, are you ready............wait for it......wait for it.......


I used the air wand and plugged it into my compressor hose to act like a bellows. Worked great. Nice big fire going, I'm the man

.

Or so I thought. When I opened the lid to the smoke chamber, I had a nice layer of ash on everything.

I can't believe I didn't remember this one LOL.


Update. I have since learned how to make a fire and I no longer use my air hose

 

[chisoxjim]

nah..

a few burnt fingers, & arms here and there, but that goes with cooking.

 

[smokaholic]

I was carrying a metal cookie sheet full of ribs out to the new braunfel smoker. Put the pan on the wood planks and when I opened the smoker door the lip grabbed the edge of pan and flipped all three racks to the ground. Rinsed them all off again and re rubbed. I kept those for myself. Only a couple of pebbles in them :)

First brisket I ever did I rubbed it and put on smoker and smoker temp was 250, perfect temp for me and kept it at 250 all day for 8hrs...I mean hell thats what the instructions said to do :)....pulled it off and it looked and smelled deliscious. Went to cut it and the knife just kinda rolled the meat around. I had to get a serrated knife to cut it and the pieces were about a half inch thick. I couldnt even bite through it. I was so angry I picked it up and threw it across the room into the trash. 30 dollar piece of meat ruined. Little did I know there were several cause for this. First come to find out there is a 50degree temp difference in temp gauge and actual temp. I was just using the one that come with smoker. So I cooked it at 200 ish not 250 for 8hrs and while this is possible to do its not possible to do in 8hrs. Second to fix this all I had to do was foil and put in oven at 300 for 2 to 3hrs. Needless to say I started reading forums on the internet shortly after this experience and I have been a pro ever since :)

 

[bossdogg]

I haven't had my smoker long enough to have too many screwups. but I have helped screw up a few things. My uncle built a hog roaster out of an old oil tank. he got a rub recipe off the net and I told him he ought to put more brown sugar in it to sweeten it up. it was pretty spicy but it did not have enough sweetness to counteract the spice. he added more but when we did ribs next the brown sugar had burnt there was that much in it. so we cut back the brown sugar in it to before and cut back the spice to tone it down a bit. other then that I don't have too many screwups in general with food that wasn't edible.

I made pasta salad once for a cookout. I add cheese and various other meats and veggies but my problem was this time I am in a hurry. I quickly boil the pasta. while it is boiling I cut my veggies up. I drain the pasta and toss that right in the bowl with the cheese cubes veggies and meat then covered with tin foil. I went back got in the shower and got dressed to go to the cook out. came out grabbed my stuff and headed out the door. got to the cookout and uncovered the pasta salad and it was still warm. Oh crap. the cheese had melted everything into a big ball. allmost like mac and cheese. man that sucked. now I start the night before and do it a certian way.

 

[fire it up]

My worst screw up ever has to be when instead of taking in a butt to wrap in foil I set s sheet tray with foil on the little shelf on the sNp well I set it down a little too far on the edge and the entire thing flipped upside down on the edge of the driveway and now had a rub made from rocks and dirt...luckily I had 2 going so it wasn't a complete waste.

 

[mick7607]

tripleBQ- Now I don't feel too silly. I did EXACTLY the same thing. Babied that brisket for 8-9 hrs, proudly strutted into the kitchen to present my wife the object of her incessant questions, "is it ready yet?" Only to carve that baby up and realize that it was CORNED BEEF

 

[seenred]

The first brisket I ever did was just terrible. It was some time ago when my offset pit was still pretty new. I hadn't yet perfected temp control on this rig, so I struggled for 14 or 15 hours, working my butt off trying to maintain temps. There were several stretches of time when my temps were either too low or way too high, and in my attempt to get control, I overdid it with the dampers. The overall result was a dry, tough piece of meat that had a creosote taste. Only the dog would eat it. That, as far as I can remember, is the only thing to ever come out of one of my smokers that wasn't any good at all.

 

[bart69]

Thought it might be a good idea to soak some ribs in jagermeister overnight before smoking them.Well.........it,s not !

 

[mballi3011]

I remember the first house I rented with a buddy of mine. We were young and dumb and always had a full keg of beer. But we couldn't come up with a way to get the gas turned on so we ruffed it for awhile and thur a whole winter. So that means cold showers and no way to cook anything but we had a keg of beer. I have a grill and no idea of how to use it. My folks were from new york city you know where they make Pace salsa. So I learned how to cook on a propane stove/grill and it took me along time to believe you eat chicken or pork the wasn't BLACK and really crispy too. But I learned to grill and we still had a full keg of beer to wash the food down.

 

[triplebq]

lmao ... Just Sayin

 

[fire it up]

At least you made pastrami without even knowing it

 

[the dude abides]

Three things come to mind...
1) Oversmoking. Didn't know about the white billowing smoke. And it was green Mesquite. Yuck.
2) Forgetting to remove the membrane from the back of the ribs. This was the same smoke as #1. So they were tough and nasty. Made my tounge numb to eat.
3) Cooking chicken with the skin on low and slow. Makes the skin like chewing on a piece of tasty rubber.

Wait...smoked chicken skin gum. Hmmm, I might be on to something.

 

[denver dave]

Turkey.
Brand new smoker. Me, being a guy didn't need no stinkin instructions. Pulled that baby out of the box, built a fire and started cooking. Many hours later after re-starting the fire several times I finally gave up. It was simply not editable. My dog wasn't even interested. Almost quit for good.

 

[porkaholic]

I had smoked turkey on the brinkman without a side firebox for several Thanksgiving meals but never was very happy. Bought a Bradley electric smoker and was ready to make the best turkey ever. I had no idea that it would take that unit so long to come up to temperature, in fact it really never did. The short story is, I left that poor bird in the smoker for hours longer than needed. End result was bones showing all over the back and meat that was exceptionally dry. I have since done a better job on the Bradley but the go to smoker is not the Brinkman with a side fire box added.