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Man I am so pissed off

scarbelly

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For the last 8 years we have volunteered teaching the 4H advanced cooking class. We have never had a kid in the program and we donate our time and effort out of love of the kids. Today we presented each of the kids with an 80 page color book with recipes and pics of the class. It was a great class and we love the kids more than you can imagine.

Today was an amazing class and we all hugged at the end and promised to keep in touch. As I was taking two of the girls home I noticed that someone had backed down my driveway over a sprinkler and a solar light then drove over them forward to get out of my planter with some wheel spinning involved. This parent did not have the class to tell us and the expense is not the issue to me. Man what a classless act and I know which parent did it.

How do I address this with that parent without hurting the kid? The $$ are not the issue. The fact is that this parent is a program leader and it kills me that she would not have the responsibilty to teach her daughter to do the right thing especially in a program like this.

What do you think I should do? I am so pissed off I can't even explain.

/ message sig
 

the dude abides

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I'd call her out. Politely of course.  Send her an email and say "hey I saw you mess up my yard yesterday.  I understand that maybe you didn't notice.  But you caused some damage.  I know that you're an upstanding woman so I figured I'd let you know that you may want to come fix it."

But that's just me.

:)
 
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mossymo

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No reason to involve the kid, remind the person of what they did. Doesn't need to be a big issue, just let them know, you know.
 

SmokinAl

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You have to do something or it will eat at you. Sleep on it, you will know what to do.
 

oldschoolbbq

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Scarbelly,be the better man;don't mention it and watch him start treating you friendlier


And know the message you send will hit him right between the eyes,and even better than your fist!

So,take your MAN PILL and offer him a hand doing something,he'll sh%t!

Have fun with it and,
 

pops6927

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no need to use profanities on a family forum.   Ask her if she knew she even did it casually the next time you are both involved in a project and see if she offers an explanation or apology; if she blows it off or is rude then don't invite her back (or privately and politely tell her she is not welcome at your house any more); if she apologizes, accept gracefully and let it be forgotten.  Be the bigger person.
 

rw willy

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Well put Pops.

I had a parent back into my well head!  Broke it off below grade.  Didn't find out until the morning.  So I mentioned it to all of the parents that picked thier kids up.  Nobody knew anything!  Although it is close to the driveway, I can almost believe they didn't know.  Any how, next time some of the perps dropped off thier spawn I had cones set up, and supervised the entry and exits of thier driving.  And I never fail to mention to them all the trouble I went through and how the perp is a jerk for not saying something.  Funny to watch thier faces when I bring it up.

So, I say make a production about them being there.  And watch the reaction. 
 

Bearcarver

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no need to use profanities on a family forum.   Ask her if she knew she even did it casually the next time you are both involved in a project and see if she offers an explanation or apology; if she blows it off or is rude then don't invite her back (or privately and politely tell her she is not welcome at your house any more); if she apologizes, accept gracefully and let it be forgotten.  Be the bigger person.
Since it didn't happen at my house, I can totally agree with Pops.

I know I'm not as nice as I should be to the truck drivers who drive through my yard, on the way down to my son's business pole barn. I usually give them some verbal Hell.

The one time I yelled at a guy, and he laughed at me!  That really pizzed me off, so I told him when he gets back to his dispatcher, he should tell him he's never allowed to deliver here again, and they should get a little girl to drive his truck for him, because he can't handle it!  (Choice words omitted)

Bear
 

tjohnson

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These days, if you confront the person, it's easier to deny it than admit it.....Sad, but true!

I would say something and leave it at that.  My guess she'll deny it and you'll be more upset.

If you don't say anything, it will eat you up!

Todd
 

rdknb

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I agree with pops, Say something and then let it be.
 

scarbelly

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Thanks for the advice guys - the reason I posted it here is that I really needed to vent and it helped a lot. Al wa.s right on the sleep on it which is what I intended to do so I had a few toddys and went tobed without doing anything.

I sent the following email this morning

To the parent who backed into my planter at the entry to our property, thank you. I have been meaning to move the light you ran over and the sprinkler you broke off for a couple of years now. My only wish is that you would have let me know so I could have shut off the water to this sprinkler and cleaned up the glass right away. I am not at all worried about the cost of accident. I am however concerned that you are teaching your child that it is OK to be irresponsible.

We will see - I dont expect a response from the person who did it but I know that at least two of the families will call and offer to help.
 

mossymo

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Straight forward and respectful way to handle it, gets it off your chest, confronts who did it; well done Scarbelly!
 

gotarace

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Class move Scarbelly. You should try to get the email to the kids also so they can put the heat on the guilty party and see how irresponsible actions have consequences. A person can only hope they will step up to the plate and take care of your damages. I doubt this will happen but a guy can hope the sprinkler or planter punched a hole in their oil pan.
 
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SmokinAl

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I knew you would figure it out!  
 

bmudd14474

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Dang Gary. That sucks. I hope they man up and come fwd. 
 

Bearcarver

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Great response Gary.

If they man up---fine, but if they don't, they are the ones who have to live with themselves.

You did good!

Bear
 

scarbelly

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Well - got a call from the person that did the damage. Looks like 2 of them were in my planter because I saw the one with the Camry back into it and pull out. The second one said she had backed into the planter area and pulled forward and backed out again. She claims that she did not see any damage but in looking at the two vehicles involved it was obvioulsy the SUV that did the damage based on the size of the tire tracks and the 3 foot long skid mark coming back out.  

The husband called and wants to come and fix it but I told him it was all done and I dont want the money so please donate $40 to hospice and lets move on.

I think I got what I wanted, They are really embarassed and I taught them that hit and run in not acceptable.
 

justpassingthru

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Hey Gary,

I'm sure you and everyone else has seen this a least once in their lives;

Love is patience, love is kind; love is not envious, is not vain, is not puffed up; does not behave indecently, does not seek it's own, is not easily provoked, thinks no evil.  Love does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices in the truth, quietly covers all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.

If we plug this tidbit of wisdom into you post;
For the last 8 years we have volunteered teaching the 4H advanced cooking class. We have never had a kid in the program and we donate our time and effort out of love of the kids. Today we presented each of the kids with an 80 page color book with recipes and pics of the class. It was a great class and we love the kids more than you can imagine.

Today was an amazing class and we all hugged at the end and promised to keep in touch. As I was taking two of the girls home I noticed that someone had backed down my driveway over a sprinkler and a solar light then drove over them forward to get out of my planter with some wheel spinning involved. This parent did not have the class to tell us and the expense is not the issue to me. Man what a classless act and I know which parent did it.

How do I address this with that parent without hurting the kid? The $$ are not the issue. The fact is that this parent is a program leader and it kills me that she would not have the responsibilty to teach her daughter to do the right thing especially in a program like this.

What do you think I should do? I am so pissed off I can't even explain.

/ message sig
we have the correct answer to what you should do in this situation, ...put your love to work when it's difficult and being tested.

It seems to me, since you didn't' see who did it, but you know who it is, there is a problem with this parent before this incident, ...IMHO that problem (if possible) should be resolved first, if not then just let it go and continue to work with the child, that's the object isn't it?

It has been my experience that no matter what a 'jerk' the parent might be the child still loves them, if we try to come between this love we will be the loser and most likely lose the opportunity to be a positive influence in their lives.

Have a good evening brother and the Lord bless,

Gene
 

shooterrick

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I think you handled it well.  Nuff said. 
 

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