I think you've got a great set of choices there - here's my advice living in OK.
Choose a rural area, within 30-60 minutes of a larger city/metro. Not necessarily HUGE city, but larger. Easy access to things like theater, events, Costco, major regional airport (not necessarily international airport). After many, many years of living in OK, the lower cost of living in these areas, with better access to 'city stuff' without being IN the city is a great balance. Real estate is cheap(er), cost of living overall, ability to access and source things from 'country folk' like meat and goods from local farmers, being in a smaller town (say, sub-40k or so?) and getting to know people, make connections that make your life easier - tradesmen, church members, all kinds of stuff.
I honestly am absolutely flabbergasted why anyone would want to live in a giant metro, or even in a large suburb in close proximity. To my mind, you get all the downsides (traffic, costs, headaches, taxes) and almost NONE of the benefits.
I live 45 minutes from Tulsa and I think this is a great area and a great mix. There are lots of areas that match this lifestyle.
Look at individual states' taxes as well as the 'direction' their political leadership seems to be heading - it's a factor for your future. I.e., while I love Texas in general, I am fairly concerned that the major metros like Dallas may be driving the state into a more kind of... purple... direction. You can lean whichever way you like, but while the middle of the road may seem like a good thing, it can also affect the momentum for the future - a lot can ride on the influx of people from another area.
Honestly, the LAST thing I want is my area becoming the mecca for people from California (no offense) IF those people are going to keep to their ideals that led to the policies that chased them away to begin with, eh? Just my personal feelings. I'm pretty conservative, and I like my area being that way, too.
Just my $0.02 - which is worth exactly what you paid for it.