The Hardest Day of my Life

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noboundaries

Legendary Pitmaster
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Sep 7, 2013
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Roseville, CA, a suburb of Sacramento
Welcome to SMF! Congrats on the new baby and having such a thoughtful heart to go to so much effort for close family and friends. It was a reflection I enjoyed reading.

I would have been equally devastated if people failed to appreciate the effort I put into something like you did. But, it has happened to me a few times, especially if the focus of the gathering is a celebration for someone else.

I'm not in an area where people recognize good BBQ (California). If they taste smoke, and it is overcooked to the point that it practically dissolves in the mouth, they believe it is magical. That's how I smoke for groups when manning my pit, then it doesn't matter who the celebration is for. Lessons can be painful, but valuable.
 
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SmokinVOLfan

Smoking Guru
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Feb 27, 2018
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Knoxville, TN
And some cheap ass beer...that didn't get put in the cooler! :emoji_laughing:

Ryan

Nah man cheap ass beer is too good. For people that don't appreciate smoke rings they get 40's.
giphy.gif
 

Winterrider

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Sep 29, 2018
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Sounds like you went way above and beyond to make everything right. It is frustrating to not even get a compliment or some recognition.
I have always been to scared to make a cook like that and have it all work out. I'm kinda old school, just a couple things at a time for me.
I have always been one to help cleanup, whether it is helping with dishes or just taking the trash out. My way of saying thank you.
As Al mentioned, if it's something you enjoy doing try a different bunch of friends or just family. They would love it . . .
 
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MJB05615

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May 12, 2018
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True what everyone said. You know it was good, you truly enjoy doing it, right? Then keep it going.
Never let anyone's lack of enthusiasm keep you from doing what YOU love. Been there, done that.
Sounds like your instincts about Life, etc are right on. Congrats on the addition to your Family.
Always go with your gut instincts, it'll work out more often than not.

Mike
 
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GaryHibbert

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Sounds like a GREAT BBQ to me!! But where's the pics?? And to have that many meats actually done on time for the meal is quite amazing. I have not once in my life had the Q ready at supper time--took a long time, but my wife has finally accepted that as a fact of life.
While I was growing up, if we were guests for dinner somewhere, and didn't thank the host/hostess for a delicious meal, or help in the clean up, the backhand to the head from my Dad would have ensured better manners the next time.
I'm guessing that from your age most or all of these guests were millennials. In this Old Man's view, people in that age group are generally self centered and lacking in basic manners. So just let it be like water off a duck's back. And, if it were me, they would never be invited again.
Gary
 

chopsaw

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Invite them back and serve skinless wieners with cheap chips
Sad fact is , if people eat like that , and alot of them do . That's what they think is good .
I hate eating at my sisters house . They all think the food is fantastic . It's terrible .
I'm the type that won't say it was good if it wasn't .

I'm guessing that from your age most or all of these guests were millennials. In this Old Man's view, people in that age group are generally self centered and lacking in basic manners.
Well mine aren't either one of those , but they sure get their feelings hurt easy .
 
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2Mac

Meat Mopper
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Apr 30, 2020
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Ontario, Canada
That is probably the best thread I’ve ever read on here. Congratulations on the new addition to your family. Everything that needs to be said about your experience has already been said by others and quite well I might add. I have done some multiple meat smokes including salmon and that is not easy. Good work. Keep it up
 
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JCAP

Smoking Fanatic
SMF Premier Member
Jun 12, 2019
937
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Allentown, PA
Echo what everyone is saying. That sounds like a great cook to hit everything being done on time. Plus accommodating the pescatarian. Surprisingly my immediate family is the same way- their food is very subpar (the stuff I grew up eating) and when they come here I crank out some good grub. But no one ever comments. It stopped bothering me but makes my wife furious. Her family, luckily, loves the good food.

Congrats on the newborn. You have a little while to accumulate all the grill/smoking knowledge you can to start passing it down!
 
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Buckeye1

Meat Mopper
Apr 23, 2020
275
256
Wow is all I can say. Sounds like a small catering job that was well done. You sound like a good family man and great cook!
 
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bbqbrett

Master of the Pit
Jan 17, 2013
1,631
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About 10 miles from the blue turf!
Little late to the thread here. First off congrats on the new child! I have never had that big of a get together to compare with but sounds like you had a lot of people forgetting their manners.

For the people who really don't like BBQ that much not a lot you can do. But if you can remember who said they didn't like the way you cooked it or told you a different way to make the food here is an alternative you might try.

Invite them over not as a big group but just one at a time. Tell them you were really interested in how they would cook the food and would love to see how they would do it. Then invite them over to use your rig so they can show you in person. If they don't take you up on it you can figure they probably got the point. If they do take you up on it you can see if they actually know anything about BBQ or not, get to eat without having to cook and then get the chance to critique them. If multiple people take you up on the offer...score for you on free food!
 

JC in GB

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Sep 28, 2018
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Green Bay, WI
Little late to the thread here. First off congrats on the new child! I have never had that big of a get together to compare with but sounds like you had a lot of people forgetting their manners.

For the people who really don't like BBQ that much not a lot you can do. But if you can remember who said they didn't like the way you cooked it or told you a different way to make the food here is an alternative you might try.

Invite them over not as a big group but just one at a time. Tell them you were really interested in how they would cook the food and would love to see how they would do it. Then invite them over to use your rig so they can show you in person. If they don't take you up on it you can figure they probably got the point. If they do take you up on it you can see if they actually know anything about BBQ or not, get to eat without having to cook and then get the chance to critique them. If multiple people take you up on the offer...score for you on free food!

I think bbqbrett bbqbrett is the winner. That is the best advice I could have come across. I am so going to use that in the future.

Great post...

I really think that the forum has you covered B BeefBadger

JC :emoji_cat:
 

Fueling Around

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Dec 10, 2018
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FL winter, MN summer
I take it these are your wife's friends?

Yep you can beat yourself to death making great Q, but there is always the burger and hot dog option.
Actually, screw the burgers and hot dogs. Local store sells the mystery meat "fun dogs" for $1 a package

Congrats on the baby and hug the wife. She went through 9 months
 
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