Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with aCoat hanger long after hypothermia has set in. Calling AAA is not anOption. I will win. __________________________________________________ _____________Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop theHood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. IfAnother man shows up, one of us will say to the other, 'I used to beAble to fix these things, but now with all these computers andEverything, I wouldn't know where to start. We will then drink a coupleOf beers and break wind, as a form of holy communion. __________________________________________________ _______Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soupAnd take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. YouNever get as sick as I do, so for you, this is no problem. __________________________________________________ _______________Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries atThe store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic itemsLike 'cumin' or 'tofu.' For all I know, these are the same thing. __________________________________________________ _______________Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I willInsist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost meTwice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it backTogether. __________________________________________________ _______________Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my handWhile I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a wholeShow looking for it, though one time I was able to survive by holding aCalculator instead (applies to engineers only) ._________________________________________________ ________________Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about.The true answer is always either beer, sports, sex, cars or sex. I haveTo make up something else when you ask, so just don't ask. __________________________________________________ ______________Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie.Chances are , if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't... And if youAre feeling amorous afterwards . . Then I will certainly at leastRemember the name and recommend it to others. __________________________________________________ ________________Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. The color isJust fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine,Too.Either pair of shoes is fine. Jewelry adds to the outfit, any pieces areFine. With the belt or without it, looks fine. It does not make yourRear end look too big. It was the pasta and potatoes and margaritas thatDid that. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now? __________________________________________________ _________________Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2008, I will shareEqually in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, theCleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest. LikeWandering around in the garden with a beer, wondering what to do. __________________________________________________ _____________This has been a public service message for women to better understandMen.
