Optimus Prime Rib is a Christmas tradition I've started. I've come from a deep Italian family, married into an Irish family that has it's traditions deep rooted in their Southern Baptist traditions. I've learned from my own life that these large family gatherings only last a generation or so, then they thin out, and then the opportunity is there to make the family dinner massive and happiest again. Optimus Prime Rib is my doing so. (dramatic robot face looking up in the snow.....but there's no snow....and I'm only a robot most of the time....except when I drink a lot of wine...because robots don't act like robots with lots of wine. We act like Italians....and make parenthesis stretch as far as Mom's cheeseball.....except I get one of my own....cause I'm her baby boy damnit!)But Optimus Prime Rib is a huge cut of the best prime rib you can get and we're gonna dry age it for 3 weeks!
So I've lived in this neighborghood for a year and T&M Meats is by far my favorite neighbor. They have come to realize they make a lot of money from me.So I call them the day after Christmas and I say I want as 109 Export cut of prime rib, prime grade. "OK so when would like to pick it up?" "Today? Tomorrow?"
"What? Now?"
"Yeah, I'm going to age it for 3 weeks if you can help me out?"
"Yeah we've got a prime cut you can have for a deal if you don't mind some work."
Cut forward a couple hours and you see me running in and "Hey, I'm that guy!"
Small shop owner has a twinkle in his eye, redneck Italian guy bounds across the store...redneck Italian guy bounds out of the store, laying giant cut of meat, and then learning 13 month-old boy into the car. All that was missing was provided for by a wonderful wife-mother, who got her hair and nails done because all three daughters had a make-up day with grandma, and the boy went doing errands with dad. He learned to flex and make a big face as Dad took a sawzall to the beef cut and blasted Meshuggah! The boy flexed on Dad's ok-I'm-gonna-get-back-to-the-gym-next-year arm while Dad expertly poured a Jack-n-coke since Mom was out. Then Lil man took a nap as Dad wrapped a trimmed-cleaned-and-dried prime rib in cheesecloth (2 layers all around) and layed it on a bakers rack in a perfectly sterilized!
And then it sits like this for a couple of weeks.
This is what it looked like after about 1 1/2 weeks. It looks kinda good but a lot of people will check out here.
Here is how it looks at the moment of reckoning! Christmas morning. It looks like hell and you're questioning all your in-laws about to show up and you're scared as hell.
Then it looks like this after you trim it all up.
Then you feel good and you do SPG, rosemary and thyme, and some Valencia Orange Peel, and hope for the best!!!
Then it's 111F 2 hours before people even start to arrive!
Then everyone shows up and starts hugging you, your mother smushes your baby boy in your face, then your distant cousin clears half the counter to pour whiskey for all the people your age. You realize you are the place for the family. You made the table because you are the family now. Bellisimo. Grace.
So I've lived in this neighborghood for a year and T&M Meats is by far my favorite neighbor. They have come to realize they make a lot of money from me.So I call them the day after Christmas and I say I want as 109 Export cut of prime rib, prime grade. "OK so when would like to pick it up?" "Today? Tomorrow?"
"What? Now?"
"Yeah, I'm going to age it for 3 weeks if you can help me out?"
"Yeah we've got a prime cut you can have for a deal if you don't mind some work."
Cut forward a couple hours and you see me running in and "Hey, I'm that guy!"
Small shop owner has a twinkle in his eye, redneck Italian guy bounds across the store...redneck Italian guy bounds out of the store, laying giant cut of meat, and then learning 13 month-old boy into the car. All that was missing was provided for by a wonderful wife-mother, who got her hair and nails done because all three daughters had a make-up day with grandma, and the boy went doing errands with dad. He learned to flex and make a big face as Dad took a sawzall to the beef cut and blasted Meshuggah! The boy flexed on Dad's ok-I'm-gonna-get-back-to-the-gym-next-year arm while Dad expertly poured a Jack-n-coke since Mom was out. Then Lil man took a nap as Dad wrapped a trimmed-cleaned-and-dried prime rib in cheesecloth (2 layers all around) and layed it on a bakers rack in a perfectly sterilized!
And then it sits like this for a couple of weeks.
This is what it looked like after about 1 1/2 weeks. It looks kinda good but a lot of people will check out here.
Here is how it looks at the moment of reckoning! Christmas morning. It looks like hell and you're questioning all your in-laws about to show up and you're scared as hell.
Then it looks like this after you trim it all up.
Then you feel good and you do SPG, rosemary and thyme, and some Valencia Orange Peel, and hope for the best!!!
Then it's 111F 2 hours before people even start to arrive!
Then everyone shows up and starts hugging you, your mother smushes your baby boy in your face, then your distant cousin clears half the counter to pour whiskey for all the people your age. You realize you are the place for the family. You made the table because you are the family now. Bellisimo. Grace.
