A woman gets a facelift for her 47th birthday. On her way home, she stops at a newsstand and asks the sales clerk, “How old do you think I am?” ... “About 32,” the clerk replies. “I’m actually 47,” the woman says. She then goes into McDonald’s and asks the cashier the same question. “I’d guess about 29,” she says. “Nope, I’m 47,” the woman replies. Later, as she waits for the bus, she asks an old man the same question. “I’m 78,” he says, “and my eyesight is starting to go. But when I was young, you could determine a woman’s age by putting my hand up her shirt and feeling her boobs.” Curiosity getting the best of her, she says, “What the hell, go ahead.” He slips his hand up her shirt and, after a few minutes, says, “You’re 47.” “That’s amazing!” she says, stunned. “How did you know?” “I was behind you in line at McDonald’s.