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Have a laugh on me.

kruizer

Master of the Pit
2,108
795
Joined Sep 7, 2015
I’m on two diets. I wasn’t getting enough food on one.

A cold seat in a public restroom is unpleasant. A warm seat in a
public restroom is worse.

Apparently RSVP’ing to a wedding invitation “Maybe next time,” isn’t the correct response.

Don’t irritate old people. The older we get the less “Life in prison” is a deterrent.

Have you ever listened to someone for a minute and thought “Their cornbread isn't done in the middle.”

Aliens probably fly by earth and lock their doors.

“You will hit every cone on the highway before I let you merge in front of me because you saw that sign 2 miles ago like I did.

I asked my wife if I was the only one she had been with. She said yes, all the others were nines and tens...

I really don’t mind getting older, but my body is taking it badly.

It turns out that being an adult is mostly just googling how to do stuff.

I miss the 90’s when bread was still good for you and no one knew what kale was.

Do you ever get up in the morning, look in the mirror and think “That can’t be accurate.”

I want to be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have new ideas

As I watch this generation try to rewrite our history, one thing I’m sure of....it will be misspelled and have no punctuation.

I thought getting old would take longer..

I told my wife I wanted to be cremated. She made me an appointment for Tuesday.

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves at the same time he does.

My wife asked me to take her to one of those restaurants where they make food right in front of you. I took her to Subway. That’s when the fight started.

Me: Sobbing my heart out, “I can’t see you anymore.....I’m not going to let you hurt me again.”
Trainer: “It was one sit-up. You did one sit-up.”

Picked up a hitchhiker. He asked if I wasn’t afraid, he might be a serial killer? I told him the odds of two serial killers being in the same car was extremely unlikely.

I went line dancing last night. OK, it was a roadside sobriety test... same thing.
 

JckDanls 07

Smoking Guru
OTBS Member
Group Lead
5,804
555
Joined Sep 10, 2011
kruizer... that's some good stuff there...

Mike243 ... I can't quit laughing... I know the feeling and the look ... LOL... That's funny... Damn that's funny ...
 

mike243

Master of the Pit
SMF Premier Member
2,245
832
Joined Feb 25, 2018
Me and the wife were laughing at Kruizers jokes and I thought I would add a laugh as you can never have too many, kinda like smokers lol just pulled 2 butts off waiting on the other 2 as I cant go back to sleep now
 

HalfSmoked

Legendary Pitmaster
OTBS Member
SMF Premier Member
Group Lead
8,872
2,536
Joined Jun 11, 2015
Awesome Awesome from both of you.

Warren
 

GaryHibbert

Legendary Pitmaster
OTBS Member
★ Lifetime Premier ★
8,314
1,535
Joined Jun 20, 2013
Those were funny, guys!! Thanks
Gary
 

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