funny thoughts for ya

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Fire Starter
Original poster
Jan 8, 2013
                              MURPHY'S DICTUMS


You can get more with a smile and a gun,

 than you can get with a smile alone.


Light travels faster than sound.

 This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak


He who laughs lasts, thinks slowest.


Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine

Those who live by the sword,

 get shot by those who don't.


Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.


The 50-50-90 Rule:

Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right,

there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.


If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end,

someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them,

five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.


If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.


The things that come to those who wait,

will be the things left by those who got there first.


Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.

Teach a man to fish, and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.


A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.


The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.


A fine is a tax for doing wrong.

A tax is a fine for doing well.


When you go into court,

you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people,

who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. is reader supported and as an Amazon Associate, we may earn commissions from qualifying purchases.

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