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Forrest Gump at Pearly Gates


Legendary Pitmaster
SMF Premier Member
Joined Oct 17, 2009
The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump died and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed, and Forrest approaches

the Gatekeeper. St. Peter said, "Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we

have been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven."Forrest responds, "It shore is good

to be here, St Peter, sir. But nobody ever told me about any entrance exam. I shore hope that the test ain't too hard. Life was a big enough test as it was.St Peter continued

to say, Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions
First: What two days of the week begin with the letter T ?
Second: How many seconds are there in a year?
Third: What is God's first name?"

Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day and sees St. Peter who waved him up and said, "Now that you have had a chance to think over the

questions, tell me your answers.Forrest replied, "Well, the first one - which two days in the week begin with the letter 'T'? Shucks, that one is easy.. That would be Today

and Tomorrow.The Saint's eyes opened wide, and he exclaimed, "Forrest that is not what I was thinking, but you do have a point. I guess I did not specify, so I will give you

credit for that answer. How about the next one?" asked St. Peter.
"How many seconds in a year? Now that one is harder," replied Forrest, "But I thunk and thunk about that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve.Astounded, St. Peter

said, "Twelve? Twelve? Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"
Forrest replied, "Shucks, there is got to be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd...
"Hold it, interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you are going with this, and I see your point, though that was not quite what I had in mind but I will have to give you credit for that

one, too. Let us go on with the third and final question. Can you tell me God's first name?
"Sure", Forrest replied, "it's Andy."
"Andy?"exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St. Peter, "OK, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world

did you come up with the name 'Andy' as the first name of God?""Shucks, that was the easiest one of all," Forrest replied, "I learnt it from the song. 'ANDY WALKS WITH

St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates and said: "Run, Forrest, run."


SMF Hall of Fame Pitmaster
OTBS Member
SMF Premier Member
Joined Nov 12, 2010
Simple, is usually the best. That was the best.


SMF Hall of Fame Pitmaster
OTBS Member
SMF Premier Member
Group Lead
Joined Sep 12, 2009
Good-un fo sho.

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