Vegan houseguest - can’t let him starve...

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I've written before about the PITA vegan relative who we've had to accomodate for years. Like any eating disorder (something I unfortunately know a lot about, and veganism is exactly like anorexia, etc.), it consumes the person and everyone around them, and makes it really difficult to actually enjoy the meal.

My wife and I have experienced this first hand as well with one of our granddaughters.
This particular grandaughter spent a few weeks with us a couple of summers ago.
My wife and I mistakingly went out and bought all sorts of fresh fruits and vegetables only to find out that this granddaughter doesn't eat vegetables nor fruits.
We asked her what does she eat?
Her response was shocking.
Seems should would only eat things like Doritos and Pop Tarts.
 
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Whatever you make, if you accidentally let some meat juice drip on it, it will taste better. Surround it with jackfruit and jicama, and I promise there will be nothing left:emoji_astonished:

Seems like almost nobody is making a hamburger-based product that tastes like soy...
 
I second the cauliflower idea, it's great smoked, and rubbed with a little olive oil and S&P. Also, I like to make smoked collared greens. Just smoke them for about 20-30 minutes on low temp, then cut them up and cook them down with some olive oil, apple cider vinegar, salt, pepper, red chili flakes, and maybe even a touch of paprika or cumin - then add a little water to simmer them. I sometimes use heavy cream and parmesan cheese to make them into smoked creamed greens but that won't work with the vegan.

Also, I'm not vegan but was vegetarian or quite a few years and my partner is vegetarian. I make her stuff all the time. There's two ways you can approach this; 1. the typical way us meat eaters do which is to do it mockingly of vegans and just throw somethin together so they won't complain. or 2. the way I like to approach it - make it a fun challenge to come up with a really good dish that not only the vegan will be satisfied with but even meat eaters will enjoy. I think we'd all agree that meat is pretty tasty, even on it's own w/o the help of a grill or smoke etc. So making a good meat-based meal is pretty easy. If you really like cooking and challenging yourself, try doing that with ingredients we're often not as excited about like vegetable, tofu or other meat substitutes.

Even more me, it's more fun to explore and find tasty non-meat based things to eat than just order a boring hamburger or steak.
 
Smoked cabbage with butter!


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So making a good meat-based meal is pretty easy. If you really like cooking and challenging yourself, try doing that with ingredients we're often not as excited about like vegetable, tofu or other meat substitutes.

Really? I can cook haricots vert perfectly on point, and "stick to the wall" capellini, all day following a rote recipe, but doing a brisket just right is a lot harder.

Any stoner can make a respectable (though cumin-overwrought) lentil soup that would wow the local hemp crowd, and Tofukey comes in a ready-to-cook box, but putting together something that involves a delicate animal protein, like a "correct" version of ANY of four of the five Mother Sauces (and even #5, Sauce Tomate, is usually made with a roux in continental cuisine) takes a tremendous amount of culinary skill.

Burn the skin off of your aubergine on the stovetop, without benefit of a pan, and it's ready for culinary accolades,
overcook a cauliflower, and it tastes like slightly softer, but still very edible, cauliflower.

Burn a piece of sole, and it won't make it out of the pan, much less stay on your fork, and God help you if you take a flank steak past a "just right" rare.

sorry, but I am inclined to respectfully disagree with your assertion.
 
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Of course there are exceptions to those rules. I'm not really talking about brisket (that's kind of an extreme example of meat not being easy) and vegetables as side dishes. Making an interesting, flavorful and nuanced main dish without any meat that everyone would want to eat, to me at least, is more challenging and more interesting than throwing some steaks or burgers on a grill. Especially when you're trying to do it in the same vein as bbq.
 
Gary S beans, without the bacon, are great smoked. Although I always add extra bacon, which you can't, adding a can of pineapple chunks to the mix is downright delicious.
Gary
Gary's baked beans are some of my favorite food on this earth. However, even without the bacon, you might still be in trouble. As I mentioned in my last post, honey is off limits for vegans because bees are "animals." Gary's recipe calls for honey (optionally). You obviously will also have to make sure the can of beans doesn't have some hidden, verboten ingredient. I always use Bush's original beans and they, of course, contain chunks of yummy bacon.

Oh yes, make sure everything is organic. While regular produce should be vegan, most of the people on these crazy diets go nuts about organic food and won't eat anything else. Personally, I go out of my way to not buy organic simply because the non-organic used to always look and taste better and even now that this is usually no longer the case, the cost difference can be astronomical. At Costco, the difference between organic and regular raspberries is often two-to-one.
 
I’ll not express my opinions about vegans/vegetarians/picky eaters/and Faux-health nuts; since they seem to have already been expressed by others…

Some meat-less dishes can be quite good and fun to make.

I make a hasselback butternut squash for thanksgiving. It’s easy to make. It has eye appeal too. I’ve never tried smoking it, but that might actually be really good.

https://www.bonappetit.com/recipe/hasselback-butternut-squash-with-bay-leaves

If you feel like putting a lot effort into making a veg meal, and if you want to play with food in a new way; try making vegetarian sausages. You’ll need some carrageenan and guar gum to make it hold together right. Marianski has a good book on this. Here’s one of his recipes:

https://www.meatsandsausages.com/sausage-recipes/vegetarian/vegetarian-sausage-basic

I’ve made these before and smoked them too.
Once they’ve been poached, let them cool, take the casing off, and give them a light smoke.
 
I can't help too much and am nothing close to a vegan but here is what I know would work.

You can go Tex-Mex on them.
Grill some portabello mushrooms, onions, and peppers.
Grill/roast some cauliflower.
Take canned black beans (or go from dry bean if you want to take the time) mix with some pico de gallo (NO PACE PICANTE OR SAUCE LIKE THAT!!!), and some Vegetable bullion, some ground cumin.
Get some green leaf lettuce.
They now can make vegan tacos and the funny thing is that I would bet money that you or others would eat the beans as side, as well as grilled portabellos and grilled cauliflower as sides.

Everyone wins.... if you care to go down the Tex-Mex route with things lol.
Smoked pork butt tacos and nachos are to die for so no issues with a Tex-Mex route I can see unless people just don't like that style of food!

Best of luck!
 
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My son is a semi-vegan because of his wife uggggg. So the first time they came over for supper I took a bunch of lawn clippings, a pine cone and a few twigs and put them on a plate for them. We all got a good chuckle out of it. For the real meal we served them salad, grilled fries and salmon(I did say semi-vegan they still eat fish).

Chris
 
If they still eat fish, they are not even close to being vegan and you still have a hope of getting them back.
They are pescetarians. Why try to get them back? Live and let live.
One of my daughter's friends is pescetarian. She can't have enough of our cooking (one dish fish and mostly vegs when she comes over). No rolled eyes if we eat meat at that sitting. No lecturing from either side.
 
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As a meat cutter, definitely not vegan, but now having to cut out all processed meats, processed cheese food, salt, etc. after a heart attack, Mrs. Dash is my new friend. Portabello mushrooms are fantastically smoked, like smoking cheese, need to have them 'mellow out' for a few days. Same w/cauliflower steaks, absorbing the smoky goodness. Mrs. Dash has many wonderful flavors now also.
 
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I have filed that need by cutting up the following:

1 Red bell pepper
1 orange bell pepper
1 zucchini squash
1 yellow summer squash
1 onion
1 bunch of asparagus
8 oz crimini mushrooms
8 oz white mushrooms
4 oz snow peas

Cut all to bite sized pieces.

Add 1 - 2 T oil
Add SPOG or Texas rub to taste

Leave to macerate about an hour then onto the grill or in the smoker until done.

Vegan dish that meat eaters seem to like as well.
 
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