The following 15 New Jersey State Police
comments were taken off actual police car videos around the state.
#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new.
They'll stretch after you wear them a while."
# 14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your
birth certificate a worthless document."
#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because
that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."
#11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that
means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"
#10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I
don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the
shift supervisor?"
#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not
to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
#8 "The answer to this last question will determine
whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a
dog?"
#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place
where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy & corn dogs
& step in monkey poop."
#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets & my wife gets
a toaster oven."
#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."
#4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"
#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but
now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."
#2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a
personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post
your bail."
AND THE WINNER IS....
#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're
right, we don't.
Sign here."
comments were taken off actual police car videos around the state.
#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new.
They'll stretch after you wear them a while."
# 14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your
birth certificate a worthless document."
#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because
that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."
#11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that
means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"
#10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I
don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the
shift supervisor?"
#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not
to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
#8 "The answer to this last question will determine
whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a
dog?"
#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place
where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy & corn dogs
& step in monkey poop."
#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets & my wife gets
a toaster oven."
#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."
#4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"
#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but
now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."
#2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a
personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post
your bail."
AND THE WINNER IS....
#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're
right, we don't.
Sign here."
