New Jersey State Police...

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by chris_harper, Apr 18, 2007.

  1. chris_harper

    chris_harper Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    The following 15 New Jersey State Police
    comments were taken off actual police car videos around the state.

    #15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new.
    They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

    # 14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your
    birth certificate a worthless document."

    #13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

    #12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because
    that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

    #11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that
    means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

    #10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I
    don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the
    shift supervisor?"

    #9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not
    to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

    #8 "The answer to this last question will determine
    whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a

    #7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place
    where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy & corn dogs
    & step in monkey poop."

    #6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets & my wife gets
    a toaster oven."

    #5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

    #4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"

    #3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but
    now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

    #2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a
    personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post
    your bail."


    #1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're
    right, we don't.
    Sign here."
  2. smokincowboy

    smokincowboy Smoking Fanatic OTBS Member

    some good ones there :)
  3. pigcicles

    pigcicles Master of the Pit OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    That's funny Chris.. thanks
  4. t-bone tim

    t-bone tim Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    Chris ...luv that # 1..what a finish
  5. hillbillysmoker

    hillbillysmoker Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    Just gotta love some of those.

Share This Page