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New Jersey State Police...

chris_harper

Master of the Pit
OTBS Member
1,546
11
Joined Nov 21, 2006
The following 15 New Jersey State Police
comments were taken off actual police car videos around the state.

#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new.
They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

# 14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your
birth certificate a worthless document."

#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because
that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

#11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that
means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

#10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I
don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the
shift supervisor?"

#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not
to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

#8 "The answer to this last question will determine
whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a
dog?"

#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place
where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy & corn dogs
& step in monkey poop."

#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets & my wife gets
a toaster oven."

#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

#4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"

#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but
now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

#2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a
personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post
your bail."

AND THE WINNER IS....

#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're
right, we don't.
Sign here."
 

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