GUNS

[aussie rod]

Back in the days of the old Wild Wild West lived a guy named Red who used to have a lot of fun. He rode into town like he usually did every Saturday night, and he went into the saloon and got drunk. All of his friends saw him drinking and decided to play a trick on him. So they went outside and turned the saddle on his horse around. That way they figured when he got outside drunk and they put him on there, he would get on home the best way he could! So when it was time, he got real drunk and staggered outside, got up on his horse and rode off.
The next morning when he woke up he says, "My goodness!"
And his wife says, "What's a matter dear, don't you feel alright?"
He said, "Yeah, but I sure had a tough time getting home last night."
"Some son of a gun cut my horses head off, and I had to guide him all the way home with my finger sticking in his windpipe!"
 

 

[aussie rod]

Bob and Bill go duck hunting. They settle down in their pit blind and wait for the ducks. This gets rapidly boring for Bill, so he reaches into his backpack and withdraws a pint of 100 proof scotch.
"Want some?" he asks Bob.
"No, I've got to concentrate on hunting ducks."
"Okay..." he says and happily drains the bottle.
They go back to watching for ducks. Again, Bill gets bored and gets from his backpack another bottle of scotch.
"Want some." he asks again.
"No, thanks, I really don't drink," is his reply.
"Your loss." he says and happily drains the bottle. He's pretty sloshed by now, but goes back to help his friend watch for ducks.
A minute later, a single duck flies up. "Bang!!!" goes Bob's gun.
"Darn, missed," says Bob.
Bill waves his gun in the general direction of the sky. "Bang!!!" his gun goes. He drops the duck out of the sky.
"Wow," exclaims Bob, "how did you do that?"
"Well," he replied, "when there's a whole flock, you can hardly miss, can you?"
 

 

[aussie rod]

[h2]Men Favor Handguns Over Women...[/h2]

#10 - You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.
#9 - You can keep one handgun at home and have another for one when you're on the road.
#8 - If you admire a friends handgun and tell him so, he'll probably let you try it out a few times.
#7 - Your primary handgun doesn't mind if you keep another handgun for backup.
#6 - Your handgun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.
#5 - A handgun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.
#4 - Handguns function normally every day of the month.
#3 - A handgun doesn't ask, "Do these new grips make me look fat?"
#2 - A handgun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.
And, the number one reason a handgun is favored over a woman
#1 - You can buy a silencer for a handgun.