Any business owners here who work with their spouse?

[Quiganomics]

How do you do it? Wife and I have been going round and round over merch designs for our business. She handles the accounting, bills, fulfillment, etc., while I handle the product development, sales and marketing, event scheduling, production, and managing our social media. I have a clear view of who our client base is and what sells, she has no clue when it comes to this. However....whenever it's time to design new merch, we go through this every time. The majority of our clientele is middle aged men like myself (business is bbq related) with the sensor of humor of a teenage boy (shocking, right?) so when thinking about designs, I keep that in mind and lean towards punny humor which she thinks is too childish and wants to go the more professional route.

I just spent the last day or so designing our new hats for 2026 and immediately got resistance from her, but being that I am the one dealing with our customers daily and have a deeper understanding I told her it's not open for debate and the new designs are a go.

I can tell she's not happy, but it is what it is. I've been involved in this for going on 3 years now, she got involved in the business within the last year due to growth and me not being able to be a 1 man show anymore, and we have grown quite substantially every year, so I feel what I'm doing must be working.

Just wondering how you keep the peace when business is involved.

 

[Torch&Tone]

it's not open for debate

That there is a dangerous line, even for an authority figure to use, let alone a partner. In business or otherwise, the trust you lose in making someone else feel unheard is rarely worth whatever you gain by unilaterally declaring victory on an issue. The other person(s) can still disagree, but until they can accept the why of a decision and move on, I haven't lived up to my responsibility to communicate (and vice versa, it's on me to clarify what I need in order to accept another person's mandate, and actively listen for it).

Maybe let her know how much you appreciate her help with the technical side (accounting, bills, fulfillment, etc.), without which the business wouldn't succeed like it has, and also let her know that she has good ideas for a different kind of business - but that perhaps that isn't quite the business that inspires you. Even if straight-laced would mean more growth/profit in the near term, it doesn't make up for the enthusiasm provided by bonding with current & potential customers (even if it is bonding through fart jokes or whatever). It sounds to me like you're in this work for community, not corporatization.

 

[SmokinEdge]

My wife and I have ran our business for over 10 years together. We are an LLC and are 50/50 owners. Everyone sets up different. But the key to success is boundaries. You two must agree on each other’s responsibilities, then trust each other and don’t step on each other. You have your job, define what exactly that is and what your responsibilities will be. She has a job, define what that is and the responsibilities. These must be mutually agreed upon.

From there help each other if in a bind or can’t figure out a problem, otherwise just respect each other’s position. Not that difficult really, once you define it and then trust each other.

 

[Quiganomics]

My wife and I have ran our business for over 10 years together. We are an LLC and are 50/50 owners. Everyone sets up different. But the key to success is boundaries. You two must agree on each other’s responsibilities, then trust each other and don’t step on each other. You have your job, define what exactly that is and what your responsibilities will be. She has a job, define what that is and the responsibilities. These must be mutually agreed upon.

From there help each other if in a bind or can’t figure out a problem, otherwise just respect each other’s position. Not that difficult really, once you define it and then trust each other.

This is kinda where I'm at. I started and have been running this for 3 years now and I have developed a good relationship with my retailers and customers over that time. Up until March of this year, I was a one man show but growth just won't allow for that anymore. I don't want to give up the reigns in terms of creative design and product development nor do I want to be less involved with the customer-facing side of things. Basically, I just want her to do the back-end stuff like taxes, banking, bills, etc that I just don't have the time to do so that I can put 100% of my focus into growing into the next phase, which was what we had agreed upon. It's just getting her to abide by that and not step on my turf which is difficult.

 

[SmokinEdge]

This is kinda where I'm at. I started and have been running this for 3 years now and I have developed a good relationship with my retailers and customers over that time. Up until March of this year, I was a one man show but growth just won't allow for that anymore. I don't want to give up the reigns in terms of creative design and product development nor do I want to be less involved with the customer-facing side of things. Badically, I just want her to do the back-end stuff like taxes, banking, bills, etc that I just don't have the time to do so that I can put 100% of my focus into growing into the next phase, which was what we had agreed upon. It's just getting her to abide by that and not step on my turf which is difficult.

Sounds to me like it’s more of an employer and employee type situation. You two together need to define the business side relationship. If that’s not workable, and sometimes it’s not in marriage, you should think about just hiring an employee to do her side, or outsourcing to a CPA. In the end if you two can’t agree on business it’s really not worth the stress on the marriage, IMHO.

 

[Brokenhandle]

Many good points made here! We raise livestock and farm together, most days I prefer her help to that of a man. She's been taught how to do her part and does it without me having to check on her. I was told growing up if you can load fat hogs on a truck with your wife, you can do anything together... pretty much true!

Sounds like you two need to sit down and have a conversation. Take into account She's your wife and you need to keep the relationship on the good side. You're also coworkers and need to be able to run the business with the both of you... unless as mentioned you hire an outside employee.

You asked the question so here's questions for you. She does things you don't have time for. Or is that your excuse that you want to do the fun things and she does the boring, behind the scenes jobs that have to be done. How do you know that her ideas won't work and help grow the business? Except that if her ideas are successful, you might get stuck with other job duties that aren't so much fun. I'm currently working on my end of the year income taxes... boy am I having fun!!

In the end, you need a plan that satisfies both of you!

Ryan