• Some of the links on this forum allow SMF, at no cost to you, to earn a small commission when you click through and make a purchase. Let me know if you have any questions about this.

A Recent Trip To Costco

Bearcarver

SMF Hall of Fame Pitmaster
OTBS Member
SMF Premier Member
Group Lead
37,477
10,346
Joined Sep 12, 2009
A TRIP TO COSTCO  

Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog, and I was in the checkout line when the woman behind me asked if I had a dog. 

What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. 

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete, so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my  story) 

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.

I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff under an Irish Setter's  tail, and a car hit us both. 

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard. 

Costco won't let me shop there anymore. 

Better watch what you ask retired people! They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say! 

Bear
 

dale5351

Smoking Fanatic
456
14
Joined Jun 20, 2010
You are something else!

I can just imagine being the guy in the line behind her, biting my tongue to keep from guffawing too loud and spoiling your fun.

Retired Grey Beards of the world unite:-}}
 

jirodriguez

Master of the Pit
OTBS Member
SMF Premier Member
4,653
138
Joined Jun 5, 2009
Ah... a good classic... I havent heard that one in a while. It's still damn funny! LOL
 

Bearcarver

SMF Hall of Fame Pitmaster
OTBS Member
SMF Premier Member
Group Lead
37,477
10,346
Joined Sep 12, 2009
You are something else!

I can just imagine being the guy in the line behind her, biting my tongue to keep from guffawing too loud and spoiling your fun.

Retired Grey Beards of the world unite:-}}
That wasn't really me, Dale.

I just cleaned it up & posted it.

I'm still laughing.

Bear
 
 

markk

Smoke Blower
79
10
Joined Aug 17, 2010
Thanks Bearcarver, I just spit coffee on my laptop. Funny joke.
 

tjohnson

Smoking Guru
Staff member
Moderator
OTBS Member
SMF Premier Member
Insider
5,600
138
Joined Dec 29, 2009
Yea, Funny!

TJ
 

nwdave

Master of the Pit
SMF Premier Member
1,590
21
Joined Dec 9, 2009
Well, I don't have a grey beard but does a moustache count?  Unfortunately, I'm in the "if I'd thought of it sooner, I'd have said" group.  Retired and working on it.
 

Hot Threads

Top Bottom
  AdBlock Detected

We noticed that you're using an ad-blocker, which could block some critical website features. For the best possible site experience please take a moment to disable your AdBlocker.