I visited a wishing well with my wife this morning and she fell in. I didn't know these things worked.
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Willie, do you suffer with hemorrhoids?
What the hell else can you do with them?
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Airline captain and his wife are asleep when the phone rings around midnight. Angry, the captain gets up and picks up the phone, listens for a while then hollers: “how the hell should I know, call the weather bureau.” He goes back to bed, his wife asks him, “who was it, dear.?”
Captain: “some guy wanted to know if the coast was clear.”
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News Flash: Woman stops aggressive alligator with a .22 pistol.
"While walking along the edge of a pond just outside my house, discussing a property settlement with my soon-to-be- ex-husband, we were surprised by a large alligator emerging from the pond and suddenly charging us with his large jaws wide open. If I had not had my little .22 pistol I wouldn’t be here today. Just one shot to my estranged husband’s knee cap was all it took. The gator got him easily, and I was able to walk away. I saved a bundle in lawyer’s fees and his life insurance was also a big bonus.”
---------
Willie, do you suffer with hemorrhoids?
What the hell else can you do with them?
---------------
Airline captain and his wife are asleep when the phone rings around midnight. Angry, the captain gets up and picks up the phone, listens for a while then hollers: “how the hell should I know, call the weather bureau.” He goes back to bed, his wife asks him, “who was it, dear.?”
Captain: “some guy wanted to know if the coast was clear.”
---------------------
News Flash: Woman stops aggressive alligator with a .22 pistol.
"While walking along the edge of a pond just outside my house, discussing a property settlement with my soon-to-be- ex-husband, we were surprised by a large alligator emerging from the pond and suddenly charging us with his large jaws wide open. If I had not had my little .22 pistol I wouldn’t be here today. Just one shot to my estranged husband’s knee cap was all it took. The gator got him easily, and I was able to walk away. I saved a bundle in lawyer’s fees and his life insurance was also a big bonus.”
...JJ
