________ walks into a bar.....

[richtee]

Skeleton walks into a bar, says
"Bartender ... gimme a beer and a mop."
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A Catholic, a Protestant and a Jew, an American, a Mexican and a Russian, a frog, a giraffe and a kangaroo all walk into a bar.
Bartender says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"
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A horse goes into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?"
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Four ropes walk into a bar and grab a table. One rope goes up to the bar
to get some beers. The bartender says "Hey, you're one of those ropes,
we don't allow your kind in here".

The rope goes back to the table and tells the others what happened. One
of the ropes starts untwisting his ends and ties himself in knots. He
goes up to the bar to get some beers.

The bartender looks at him kind of funny and says "Are you one of those
ropes?.

"Nope, I'm a frayed knot".
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Guy rushes up to the bar and says, "Gimme a scotch on the rocks!"
Bartender pours it, guy downs it and says, "Quick, gimme another one before
the trouble starts!"
Bartender pours another and the guy downs it. "Hurry!" he says, "Another,
before the trouble starts!"
Bartender says, "Buddy, you owe me 7 bucks." Guy says, "Oh God, it's
starting..."
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A grasshopper walks into a bar.
Bartender says "we have a drink named after you".
Grasshopper asks, "you have a drink named Steve?"

 

[bbqlovinpackerbacker]

Cool I have a drink named after me!

 

[monty]

It's 8:00 am and MacDuff's Bar and Grill has just opened. Three men walk in and sit at the bar.

The bartender goes to serve the first man and notices he has a really bad twitch. "Got it in Viet Nam," he explains.

The bartender goes the the second man who has a terrible stutter. "Started stuttering in Nam, " he explains.

As he approaches the third guy he notices that the poor fellow seems to be obsessed with rubbing his thumb and forefinger together quite furiously.
"Get that in Nam?" asks the barkeep.
"Nope, just took it outta my nose!" he replies.