Search results for query: *

An Air Force pilot named Crewdawg walks into the O'club carrying a shotgun in one hand, a bucket of sh*t in the other, and a cat sitting on his shoulder. He walks up to the bar and orders a drink. The bartender proceeds to pour the man a drink. With that the man throws back his drink, cocks his...

I finally finished my deer stand (yeah right), thought you might like to see it http://www.fwditon.com/view_fwd.php?id=3549

An elementary teacher starts a new job at a school in Denver and trying to make a good impression on her first day, explains to her class that she's a Bronco fan. She asks the class to raise their hands if they too are Bronco fans. Everyone in the class raises...

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge...

Sunday service, the pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express Praise for answered prayers. A lady stood up and walked to the podium. She said "I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband, Jim, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was smashed. The pain was...

OKRA (Dec 22 - Jan 20): Although you appear crude, you are actually very slick on the inside. Okras have tremendous influence. Older Okras can look back over life and see the seeds of influence everywhere. Stay away from Moon Pies. BOILED PEANUTS (Jan 21 - Feb 19): You have a...

SUBJECT: BREEDING BULLS My wife and I went to the rodeo and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls. We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said,* THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR.* My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs and said, 'He...

Howard had felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while he'd hear that small inner voice trying to reassure him, "Howard. Don't worry about it. You aren't...

Tom had been in the liquor business for 25 years. Finally sick of the stress he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet. After six months or so...

Bubba and Ray (mechanical engineers) were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole,' said Bubba, 'but we don't have a ladder.' The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a...

While doing a search today I came across several threads about separating a packer Brisket, I'm sure this has been posted before but I thought I would put it out again for the newer members http://www.azbbqa.com/articles/brisket-trim.htm

Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong. Keep skunks and bankers and lawyers at a distance. Life is simpler when you plow around the stump. A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere...

PoorDave works hard at the office and spends Two nights each week bowling and plays golf Every Saturday. His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so For his birthday, she takes him to a local strip club. The doorman at the club greets them and says, 'Hey, Dave! How ya doin?' His wife is...

LEGAL Vs LOGICAL After having failed his exam in "Logistics and Organization", a student goes and confronts his lecturer about it. Student: "Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?" Professor: "Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!" Student: "Great...

Cabelas has a 400watt meat grinder on sale that gets great reviews, it's not a real heavy duty but would be good household model http://www.cabelas.com/cabelas/en/te...028&hasJS=true

Commandment 1. Marriages are made in heaven.But so again, are thunder and lightning. Commandment 2. If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep. Commandment 3. Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand! Commandment 4...

Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car. When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself. A penny saved is a government oversight. The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the...

http://www.libertyhigh56.net/special...yNotaTexan.wmv

Turn your speakers up and Enjoy http://www.thecompassgroup.biz/merryxmas.swf