10 Commandments Of Marriage

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by blackhawk19, Dec 25, 2007.

  1. blackhawk19

    blackhawk19 Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    Commandment 1.
    Marriages are made in heaven.But so again, are thunder and lightning.

    Commandment 2.
    If you want your spouse to listen and
    pay strict attention to every word you say,
    talk in your sleep.

    Commandment 3.
    Marriage is grand --
    and divorce is at least 100 grand!

    Commandment 4.
    Married life is very frustrating.
    In the first year of marriage,
    the man speaks and the woman listens.
    In the second year, the woman speaks
    and the man listens.
    In the third year, they both speak and
    the neighbors listen.

    Commandment 5.
    When a man opens the door of his car
    for his wife, you can be sure of one thing:
    Either the car is new or the wife is.

    Commandment 6.
    Marriage is when a man and woman
    become as one; the trouble starts when
    they try to decide which one.

    Commandment 7.
    Before marriage, a man will lie awake
    all night thinking about something you
    said. After marriage, he will fall asleep
    before you finish.

    Commandment 8.
    Every man wants a wife who is beautiful,
    understanding, economical, and a good
    cook. But the law allows only one wife.

    Commandment 9.
    Every woman wants a man who is handsome,
    understanding, economical and a considerate
    lover, but again, the law allows only
    one husband.

    Commandment 10.
    Man is incomplete until he marries.
    After that, he is finished.

    Bonus Commandment story.
    A long married couple came upon a wishing well.
    The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.
    The husband decided to make a wish too.
    But he leaned over too much, fell into thewell, and drowned.
    The wife was stunned for a moment but then smiled, "It really works!"


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