Speeding

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by blackhawk19, Nov 30, 2007.

  1. blackhawk19

    blackhawk19 Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...
    Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

    Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
    Older Woman: Oh, I see.
    Officer: Can I see your license please?

    Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

    Officer: Don't have one?

    Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.

    Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
    Older Woman: I can't do that.
    Officer: Why not?
    Older Woman: I stole this car.
    Officer: Stole it?
    Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
    Officer: You what?
    Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see?

    The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.


    Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.

    Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
    Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
    Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
    Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
    The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

    Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

    Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
    The officer is quite stunned.
    Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

    The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.

    The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

    Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

    Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.
    Don't Mess With Old Ladies
     
  2. cowgirl

    cowgirl Smoking Guru OTBS Member

    LOL! Good one Blackhawk!
     
  3. walking dude

    walking dude Smoking Guru SMF Premier Member

    LOLOL

    WHERE WAS THE SPEW ALERT BH........D*MN YOU......LOLOL
     
  4. that was a good one
     
  5. richoso1

    richoso1 Smoking Guru OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    Old ladies?... sounds like my wife!
     
  6. bustedluckbarbq

    bustedluckbarbq Master of the Pit OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    good one....
     
  7. glued2it

    glued2it Master of the Pit

    I think was my mom!
     
  8. badss

    badss Meat Mopper

    good one Hawk ! LOL
     

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