How fast things in your life can change

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Chris_in_SoCal

Master of the Pit
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Feb 18, 2012
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This is just me sharing recent life experiences with my brothers and sisters here, not looking for sympathy but just my way to get it out of my system. It is bad and good at the same time. This is also why I haven't posted much recently.

Many families have and are going thru this so we are not unique.

I am 55, early retirement from the GOV, my wife is a nurse close to it. We are enjoying life and kinda set in our ways. We have our routines working well for us.

Her sister who was slightly older has had a tough going in the last 20 years. She is hard working and loving but has been in a few bad relationships but has a lovely 24 YO daughter who I have known and loved since she was 7.

About 10 years ago my wife got her sister a job as a nursing assistant in her hospital and she was doing well for herself. I could see signs at the time that my niece though was having issues like lots of others at her age with not learning practical skills and was coveted a little too much. I talked about it a little but did not intervene since it wasn’t my place.

Six months ago my sister in law caught the COOV and although very fit it hit her really hard. She was out of work for months. She recently felt well enough to return but three weeks ago she got it again.
My wife said Rosa was feeling really bad so she would take her to the hospital. When she got to her place it was bad enough she called 911. Two hours later my wife called me to let me know she was dead. I did not believe it at first. WOW!

Talk about life changing events.

Our niece took it very hard, so bad we had to 5150 her into the hospital. It was something we could not handle ourselves and had to get her professional help. Luckily since my wife is a charge nurse with many years there. they gave our niece top service and it helped her so much. She was discharged and will be living with us for the future.

I have no problem with that part of it and hope to teach her many life skills. She does look up to me so hopefully it will go well.

The hard part is all the calls, paperwork, cleanup, money and everything else involved when the unexpected happens.

Luckily again my wife is well loved at the hospital as well as her sister. It was tragic for everyone so we have had so much more support than we could ever hope for. Money wise pretty much everything is covered, help with our niece will continue for as long as needed. Help with everything else is more than we could ask for.

I am sure it will all work out in the end, it is going good so far but having to make many adjustments. That is how fast things can change in your life.
 
Any time life changes like it has for you the one thing that will eventually make those changes and adjustments easier is time...it will never be easy just easier.

Over the past year I lost my brother and more recently my dad. I know exactly how you feel when it comes to calls, paperwork etc. my life is consumed by it especially the Zoom meetings and it can and does become overwhelming at times.Doing the garage sale/estate sale this weekend,the decisions on what to keep or not keep can get overwhelming too.

As each day passes it does get a little easier. Actually I've given myself permission to take a little break and do some fishing...it's good therapy it relaxes the brain. Having a great wife has been the best help of all.

Hang in there.
 
That is a heck of a story. Your niece is a lucky woman. You'll probably have to take it slow if she's used to bieng "coveted". We have definitely mollycoddled the last few generations. Well, Gen-z was more ignored than spoiled...so many divorced parents and latchkey kids.

I'm still amazed at how differently people have been affected by "the sickness" (I honestly dont know what the policy is here about that subject). You have people with terrible outcomes, multiple times, etc.. My wife and I have been lucky. Never sick, no jab...while others literally get sick and die. Crazy.
 
Wow! Yeah thats a lot to handle. Seems like you and your family did pretty well with it. Hopefully the niece can have a positive outcome from living with you guys.

Jim
 
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Sorry for your loss! Glad your niece is on the road to recovery. We all are too busy with life and worries at times... sometimes forget about the simple things in life. It can be here today and gone tomorrow.

Ryan
 
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Sorry to hear that, my family will be praying for yours. I know it's easier said then done, but keep grinding. Hope things start looking up soon.
 
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Condolences on your family's loss and kudos on you and your wife for being there for your niece! As hard as it is for you and your wife her shoes are ones that could use some family support for sure! Family meals are a great thing and a great way to connect and converse!
 
I thank every one of your for your kind words and prayers. This is something we never expected but we will get thru it and make the most of the new changes.

I feel really lucky right now since my niece is now using this as way way to bond more with me than even before. She is sharing with me foods that she is loving now and I made her Korean Fried Chicken tonight. She has been discovering Korean foods but has not had that until now. She loved it. I also handed her my last pack of Korean Honey chips since she has a sweet tooth and I knew I would not see any of that. It's good though. What ever I can do to keep her happy.

With the Korean Fried Chicken I also made some Honey mustard and some Gochujang/Soy ones. She is picky and wouldn't try them. I said how could you say you hate them if you have not taken at least a bite to see? Today she tried them and really liked them. See uncle knows best.

As she gets better I hope to spend more time teaching her it is better to know how to cook than ordering meals on apps. That might be chapter two or three.

Like that the hardest part is getting my wife to take a break once in a while. She is running herself into the ground with all of this. Her personality has always been this way. She runs until she drops. I have asked her many times to just slow down and relax a bit but that is not in her blood.

Hopefully once all the funeral arrangements are done she can slow down and take it easier. I try but don't want to force her, it would only make it worse.

Next up my niece asked me to make her some skirt steak on my pit. That I can do.
 
I thank every one of your for your kind words and prayers. This is something we never expected but we will get thru it and make the most of the new changes.

I feel really lucky right now since my niece is now using this as way way to bond more with me than even before. She is sharing with me foods that she is loving now and I made her Korean Fried Chicken tonight. She has been discovering Korean foods but has not had that until now. She loved it. I also handed her my last pack of Korean Honey chips since she has a sweet tooth and I knew I would not see any of that. It's good though. What ever I can do to keep her happy.

With the Korean Fried Chicken I also made some Honey mustard and some Gochujang/Soy ones. She is picky and wouldn't try them. I said how could you say you hate them if you have not taken at least a bite to see? Today she tried them and really liked them. See uncle knows best.

As she gets better I hope to spend more time teaching her it is better to know how to cook than ordering meals on apps. That might be chapter two or three.

Like that the hardest part is getting my wife to take a break once in a while. She is running herself into the ground with all of this. Her personality has always been this way. She runs until she drops. I have asked her many times to just slow down and relax a bit but that is not in her blood.

Hopefully once all the funeral arrangements are done she can slow down and take it easier. I try but don't want to force her, it would only make it worse.

Next up my niece asked me to make her some skirt steak on my pit. That I can do.
So Happy you and the niece are getting closer - It’s always fun to try new styles of food - Great Job!!
 
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Crap, that is horrible Chris, so sorry to hear about this.
Brutal, is the only word that describes what you guys are dealing with, hang in there bruth'a!!!
Dan.
 
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Food can sure bring people together during difficult times.
My wife is the same way Chris and can run herself ragged. I guess she does it to ease her mind and grief.
Sending prayers up for all .

Keith
 
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