• Some of the links on this forum allow SMF, at no cost to you, to earn a small commission when you click through and make a purchase. Let me know if you have any questions about this.

Day After Humpday Humor!

sawhorseray

Master of the Pit
SMF Premier Member
3,857
4,270
Joined Oct 17, 2014
Sixth grade science teacher Mrs. Samson asks her class: "Who can tell me which organ of the human body expands to 10 times its usual size when stimulated?" Nobody raises a hand, so she calls on the first student to look her way. "Mary, can you tell me which organ of the human body expands to 10 times its usual size when stimulated?" Mary stands up, blushing furiously. "How dare you ask such a question?" she says. "I'm going to complain to my parents, who will complain to the principal, who will have you fired!" Mrs. Sampson is shocked by Mary's reaction, but undaunted. She asks the class the question again, and this time Sam raises his hand. "Yes, Sam?" says Mrs. Sampson. "Ma'am, the correct answer is the iris of the human eye." "Very good, Sam. Thank you." Mrs. Sampson then turns to Mary and says, "Mary, I have 3 things to tell you: first, it's clear that you have not done your homework. Second, you have a dirty mind. And third, I fear one day you are going to be sadly disappointed."

118901425_1251749018551030_8555830282390073459_n.jpg

120656936_2925582340876611_1028408304562211776_n.jpg

121398183_2758837254398445_3147428114962149341_n.png

121569332_3324597454243980_2353933580246966120_n.jpg

121715744_3803076453055482_322701079497515807_o.jpg

121795947_3331371183566607_7345357748302611738_n.jpg

121812967_3331650200205372_6681125116695482604_n.jpg

122084892_3334590803244645_3606177889349536505_o.jpg

122125761_10158270036919022_6889092653341422417_n.jpg

122199345_3020027834768657_8096334232449550367_n.jpg

122224562_1719624535044212_1375421302274304578_n.jpg

122256832_3291973537595408_8216783889585363379_n.jpg

122434398_10222550525887172_8796726883684583154_n.jpg

122463109_10159448435886988_4946114161508762261_n.jpg

122486028_10159448434261988_3313101850375723653_n.jpg

coffin1.jpg



The police chief is interviewing applicants for a detective job.
The chief says to the three applicants "Alright, one of the most important things for a detective is to have good observational skills, so I'm going to give you all a little test. You'll each get a photo to examine for just five seconds, then you have to tell me what you notice about the subject's appearance."
The chief takes the first applicant into a room and gives him a photo from their mugshot gallery. After five seconds, he says "so what did you notice about the subject?"
Applicant #1 thinks for a bit and says "he only had one eye."
The chief looks at him in disbelief. "What? No, it's a picture in profile! You can't see the other eye because his head is turned sideways! What an idiot, get out of my station!" He bellows. Applicant #1 flees.
The second applicant comes in and the chief gives him the same photo. After five seconds, he barks "time's up, what did you notice about the subject?"
Applicant #2 hems and haws and finally says "he only had one ear!"
The chief nearly flips the table. "It's a picture in profile, you brainless buffoon! You just can't see the other ear! Get out of my sight!" He roars. Applicant #2 takes off as well.
The third applicant enters tentatively. The chief slaps the photo down in front of him, and after five minutes
Without so much as a pause, applicant #3 says "He was wearing contact lenses."
The chief squints at the picture, but for the life of him he can't tell whether the guy is wearing contacts or not. So he goes and checks the records and sure enough, he wore contact lenses!
The police chief comes back out beaming and says "you were right! What amazing powers of observation! You're hired, sign here and I'll go get your new badge." So applicant #3 signs his name and the chief soon comes back with the badge. When he does, he shakes #3's hand and says "I'm curious, how could you tell he was wearing contact lenses? I couldn't tell at all!"
Applicant #3 smiles and says "Simple logic--he couldn't have worn regular glasses, since he only had one ear and one eye."
 

Hot Threads

Top Bottom
  AdBlock Detected

We noticed that you're using an ad-blocker, which could block some critical website features. For the best possible site experience please take a moment to disable your AdBlocker.