Aging Parents...

[sandyut]

we have one parent left, its my mom. she is 87. she walks several miles a day, but mentally and technologically its getting more and more challenging. today for example, I cant reach her - phone goes straight to VM. i sent a text, but she never sees them. if she calls me back I would almost guarantee she will say "why does it do that". and no explanation will be understood. I had to call her neighbor last week to go bang on her door to see if she was still alive. looks like im doing that again today. i fear one day the answer will be no. its hard to be be frustrated, but it is what it is. just needed to share. Im sure all of you in the same boat know the drill. my wife went through all this with her mom too...almost the same script. UGH

 

[radioguy]

My older brother had problems with a smartphone, fingers on glass. He would get the ringer turned down and it would be a while until one of us visits and remembered to fix the phone. Pocket calls no answers. I got him an Alcatel flip phone compatible with his network carrier. Optioned it for simple stuff, hang up on close. No problems now except when he forgets to charge it. He doesn't text or picture sends.

RG

 

[sandyut]

My older brother had problems with a smartphone, fingers on glass. He would get the ringer turned down and it would be a while until one of us visits and remembered to fix the phone. Pocket calls no answers. I got him an Alcatel flip phone compatible with his network carrier. Optioned it for simple stuff, hang up on close. No problems now except when he forgets to charge it. He doesn't text or picture sends.

RG

I hope its just the phone...

 

[sandyut]

had security do a wellness check...she aint there, its dark and she doesnt drive at night. Freak out is coming on fast. F**K!!

 

[JckDanls 07]

OH NOOOO... Man I hope she's alright...

Does she still drive ??

 

[Brokenhandle]

Can send up some prayers for you and her safety.

Ryan

 

[normanaj]

I feel for you.

Went through it with my dad until he was 96.

 

[bigfurmn]

Sir myself and my son are praying for her while grilling dinner here.

 

[sandyut]

sorry for the drama, shes home now...of course no apologies for going off the grid. phone ran out mid afternoon apparently. good lord! kinda expecting this to continue. thank you all for the caring thoughts and messages!

 

[chopsaw]

sorry for the drama, shes home now...

Believe me , I get it . Sounds terrible , but I've just about stopped calling mine because of this exact reason . Instead I call my sister and ask her if she;s talked to Mom .
That way I find out if she went shopping or to the Doctors , church , whatever .
If I call her and get no answer ,,,, well , you get it . Instant panic .

 

[JIMSMOKES]

sorry for the drama, shes home now...of course no apologies for going off the grid. phone ran out mid afternoon apparently. good lord! kinda expecting this to continue. thank you all for the caring thoughts and messages!

Dude I feel ya and my mom lives next door to me. Sends me a text and calls immediately after. Call right back and she won't answer. She's 84

 

[bigfurmn]

sandyut sir no drama as you say. Pretty sure most people here have been through this with a parent, in my case grandparent but besides the point. The folks I know on this site even after reading she was ok, are still saying prayers for you and her. My son was very excited that his prayers "worked".

 

[Brokenhandle]

Great news! My wife took care of my mom the last 3 years of her life, had some dementia and many health issues, mom passed in April of 20... her long time physician actually came to the house twice towards the end... that never happens anymore but he was awesome ! Now dad is 88, still helps with farming and does too much but dread the day if I ever have to tell him it's not safe for him to be around farm equipment.

Ryan

 

[texomakid]

I feel for everyone of you. Went though things with both my parents. Dad died in 2016 and mom a few years back. My sister and I took care of our mother for almost 2 years. It was brutal and she struggled. That was during my absence from the forum. I miss them every day and I do not regret a single moment we spent with them even though most of that time was very tough emotionally and challenging beyond anything I've ever experienced.

there are no words that make this easy but love is what powers us through these times.

 

[hoity toit]

we have one parent left, its my mom. she is 87. she walks several miles a day, but mentally and technologically its getting more and more challenging. today for example, I cant reach her - phone goes straight to VM. i sent a text, but she never sees them. if she calls me back I would almost guarantee she will say "why does it do that". and no explanation will be understood. I had to call her neighbor last week to go bang on her door to see if she was still alive. looks like im doing that again today. i fear one day the answer will be no. its hard to be be frustrated, but it is what it is. just needed to share. Im sure all of you in the same boat know the drill. my wife went through all this with her mom too...almost the same script. UGH

You might try installing a security camera to check in on them. Inexpensive cams are out there. Reolink even have some that work on cellular, those work good as I have 2 of them in use. Some even have 2 way audio. Just my thoughts on your situation.

 

[schlotz]

I feel for you David. This can be one of the toughest periods to deal with. Plenty of emotions & anxiety regarding a loved and cherished family member. At some point the path will become clearer as to next steps. Be strong brother, your mom needs you be that person.

 

[sandyut]

Believe me , I get it . Sounds terrible , but I've just about stopped calling mine because of this exact reason . Instead I call my sister and ask her if she;s talked to Mom .
That way I find out if she went shopping or to the Doctors , church , whatever .
If I call her and get no answer ,,,, well , you get it . Instant panic .

yup, I get it...its hard some times, you know it

Dude I feel ya and my mom lives next door to me. Sends me a text and calls immediately after. Call right back and she won't answer. She's 84

Seems like they all do this...sucks.

sandyut sir no drama as you say. Pretty sure most people here have been through this with a parent, in my case grandparent but besides the point. The folks I know on this site even after reading she was ok, are still saying prayers for you and her. My son was very excited that his prayers "worked".

if you and themlive long enough, you go through this. hope I dont do this to my kids.

Great news! My wife took care of my mom the last 3 years of her life, had some dementia and many health issues, mom passed in April of 20... her long time physician actually came to the house twice towards the end... that never happens anymore but he was awesome ! Now dad is 88, still helps with farming and does too much but dread the day if I ever have to tell him it's not safe for him to be around farm equipment.

Ryan

mine still drives...totaled a car 2 years ago and refused to give up driving. pretty confident she is unsafe. i sure wont ride with her.

I feel for everyone of you. Went though things with both my parents. Dad died in 2016 and mom a few years back. My sister and I took care of our mother for almost 2 years. It was brutal and she struggled. That was during my absence from the forum. I miss them every day and I do not regret a single moment we spent with them even though most of that time was very tough emotionally and challenging beyond anything I've ever experienced.

there are no words that make this easy but love is what powers us through these times.

you said it well, i get frustrated, then feel guilty, then mad...its all the emotions.

You might try installing a security camera to check in on them. Inexpensive cams are out there. Reolink even have some that work on cellular, those work good as I have 2 of them in use. Some even have 2 way audio. Just my thoughts on your situation.

I would if I could but she wont have it...stubborn old bird, like most im sure. she thinks everything is fine.

I feel for you David. This can be one of the toughest periods to deal with. Plenty of emotions & anxiety regarding a loved and cherished family member. At some point the path will become clearer as to next steps. Be strong brother, your mom needs you be that person.

thank you, i do a lot for her, not sure she sees that. but I try very hard not to let her see my frustrations and just let it roll off. she is not intentionally being difficult, shes just old and doing her best...but man its like being dragged on concrete some days.

 

[sandyut]

thank you all for the support! really needed it last night. great people here!

 

[Brokenhandle]

thank you all for the support! really needed it last night. great people here!

Anytime... we all need to vent at times. Or need encouragement, whatever you want to call it. This site continues to be a great place!

Ryan

 

[sandyut]

Anytime... we all need to vent at times. Or need encouragement, whatever you want to call it. This site continues to be a great place!

Ryan

Agree 100%

if you know, you know, if you dont, you havent been there yet...