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  1. cowboyuptex

    FUNNY

    It doesn't matter how good the hand soap smells you should never walk out of the bathroom smelling your fingers.
  2. cowboyuptex

    joke

    A woman caught her husband on the weight scale, sucking in his stomach.   “That won’t help you, Joe, you know?” “Oh it helps a lot,” says the man, “it’s the only way I can see the numbers!”  
  3. cowboyuptex

    Brisket leftovers

    Was just wondering what ya do with your brisket leftovers. I like to make brisket queso with mine. Good recipes.
  4. cowboyuptex

    LOOKING FOR OPINIONS

    OK I DO COMPETITIVE COOKING. I USE STICK FEED ONLY. BEEN THINKING ABOUT SWITCHING TO SOMETHING LIKE A SMOKE HOLLOW, MASTERBUILT BLUETOOTH BOX OR TREAGER SMOKER. I HAVE NEVER USED THESE AND DIDNT KNOW IF THEY ARE REALLY THAT MUCH DIFFERENT FROM STICK FEED SMOKERS. ANY INPUT WOULD BE NICE. I DO...
  5. cowboyuptex

    IS THIS ROOM STILL ACTIVE

    SMOKER FROM DENTON TX
  6. cowboyuptex

    whoops

    A man received the following text from his neighbor:     I am so sorry Bob. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been tapping your wife, day and night when you're not around. In fact, more than you. I do not get any at home, but that's no excuse. I can no longer live with...
  7. cowboyuptex

    a classic but goody

    Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeatedly being poked in the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out...
  8. cowboyuptex

    blond joke

    As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load." The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When...
  9. cowboyuptex

    tonto

    The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the  desert. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound  asleep. Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, 'Kemo  Sabe, look towards sky, what you see?  'The Lone Ranger replies, 'I see millions of  stars.' What that...
  10. cowboyuptex

    wisconsin fire insurance

    Wisconsin Fire Insurance A man and his wife moved back home to Wisconsin from Arizona . The wife had a wooden leg and to insure it in Arizona was $2,000 a year!!! When they arrived in Wisconsin, they went to Sven's Insurance agency to see how much it would cost to insure the wooden leg. Sven...
  11. cowboyuptex

    new one

    Weather Channel has issued a travel warning due to snowfall and bad road conditions. They suggest that anyone travelling in the current icy conditions should ensure they have the following:ShovelBlankets or sleeping bagExtra clothing including hat and gloves24 hours worth of foodDe-IcerRock...
  12. cowboyuptex

    something for the mind

    man 1. ------------ board Ans. = man overboard Okay, let's see if you've got the hang of it. stand 2. ------------ i Ans. = I understand OK . Got the drift ? Let's try a few now and see how you fare ? 3. /r/e/a/d/i/n/g/ Ans. = reading between the lines 4. r road...
  13. cowboyuptex

    911 phone call

    An Emergency Call Center worker in London has been dismissed from her job, much to the dismay of colleagues, who are reportedly unhappy with hertreatment by management.It seems a male caller dialed 911 from a mobile phone stating,"I am depressed and lying here on a railway track.I am waiting for...
  14. cowboyuptex

    Watch for these consolidations in 2014:

    Watch for these consolidations in 2014: 1. Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace Co. will merge and become: Hale Mary Fuller Grace. 2. Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become: Poly Warner Cracker. 3. 3M will merge with...
  15. cowboyuptex

    THE IRISH BLONDE

    THE IRISH BLONDE  An attractive blonde from Cork arrived at the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated announced she was to bet twenty thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice. She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude." And with that, she...
  16. cowboyuptex

    Lexiphiles to keep you on your toes.

    Lexiphiles to keep you on your toes.  �To write with a broken pencil is pointless.  �When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.  �A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.  �When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U.C.L.A.  �The professor discovered that her theory of...
  17. cowboyuptex

    blond

    what did the blond girl say when she found out she was pregant? hope its not mine.
  18. cowboyuptex

    lawyer joke

    An Engineer Goes To Hell . . .  An engineer dies and reports to the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter checks his dossier and, not seeing his name there, accidentally sends him to Hell. It doesn't take long before the engineer becomes rather dissatisfied with the level of comfort in Hell. He soon...
  19. cowboyuptex

    not saying if this was my wife or not

    Wife texts husband on a cold winter’s morning: "Windows frozen, won't open."  Husband texts back:  "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it."  Wife texts back 5 minutes later:  "Computer really screwed up now.”
  20. cowboyuptex

    just a joke

    A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido, has cheated him out of $10,000,000.00 His bookkeeper is deaf.That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that Guido would hear nothing so he would never have to testify in court. When the Godfather goes to...
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