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  1. cowboyuptex

    lawyer joke

    An Engineer Goes To Hell . . .  An engineer dies and reports to the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter checks his dossier and, not seeing his name there, accidentally sends him to Hell. It doesn't take long before the engineer becomes rather dissatisfied with the level of comfort in Hell. He soon...
  2. cowboyuptex

    not saying if this was my wife or not

    Wife texts husband on a cold winter’s morning: "Windows frozen, won't open."  Husband texts back:  "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it."  Wife texts back 5 minutes later:  "Computer really screwed up now.”
  3. cowboyuptex

    just a joke

    A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido, has cheated him out of $10,000,000.00 His bookkeeper is deaf.That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that Guido would hear nothing so he would never have to testify in court. When the Godfather goes to...
  4. cowboyuptex

    elementary school students

    An Elementary School Teacher had twenty-six students in her class. She presented each child in her classroom the 1st half of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may...
  5. cowboyuptex

    medical bloopers

    > HOSPITAL CHART BLOOPERS > > (Actual writings from hospital charts) > > 1. The patient refused autopsy. > > 2. The patient has no previous history of suicides. > > 3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital. > > 4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she...
  6. cowboyuptex

    funny thoughts for ya

                                  MURPHY'S DICTUMS ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ You can get more with a smile and a gun,  than you can get with a smile alone. ~~~ Light travels faster than sound.  This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak  ~~~ He who laughs lasts, thinks slowest...
  7. cowboyuptex

    group of jokes

    JOKES TO OFFEND EVERYONE   What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan What is a Yankee? The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone. What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? Doughnuts Why is air a lot like sex? Because it's no big deal unless...
  8. calender

    calender

  9. cowboyuptex

    calender

      
  10. calender.jpg

    calender.jpg

    • cowboyuptex
    • Media item
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    • Album: calender
  11. cowboyuptex

    blond men

    It had to happen sooner or later................Blonde Men! * A friend told the blond man: "Christmas is on a Friday this year." "The blond man then said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th." *Two blond men find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station. One asked: "What if...
  12. cowboyuptex

    shampoo

    DO NOT wash your hair in the shower!! It's so good to finally get a health warning that is useful!!! IT INVOLVES THE SHAMPOO WHEN IT RUNS DOWN YOUR BODY WHEN YOU SHOWER WITH IT. WARNING TO US ALL!!! Shampoo Warning! I don't know WHY I didn't figure this out sooner! I use shampoo in the...
  13. cowboyuptex

    seniors

    Seniors:      Hints on how to liven up your idle hours ... To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity    1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With  Sunglasses On And Point A Hair Dryer At Passing Cars.    See If They Slow Down.   2. On all your cheque stubs, write ' For Marijuana' ...
  14. cowboyuptex

    for us texans

    Copper Wire Discovered   After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year outside of New York City, New York scientists found traces of copper cable dating back 100 years. They came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.  Not to be...
  15. cowboyuptex

    kinda funny

    HINT: Read the explanation before the word CLEVER... 1. ARBITRATOR: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonalds 2. AVOIDABLE: What a  bullfighter tries to do 3. BERNADETTE: The act of torching a mortgage 4. BURGLARIZE: What a crook sees with 5. CONTROL: A short, ugly inmate 6...
  16. cowboyuptex

    joke

    A man is walking home alone late one foggy night... when behind him he hears: Bump... BUMP... BUMP... Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him. BUMP... BUMP...
  17. cowboyuptex

    joke

    A group of 3rd, 4th, and 5th graders, accompanied by two female teachers, went on a field trip to the local racetrack, (Churchill Downs) to learn about thoroughbred horses and the supporting industry (Bourbon), but mostly to see the horses.   When it was time to take the children to the...
  18. cowboyuptex

    new joke again--adult content

    Two gay guys and a old cowboy setting by each other in a movie theater.  As they set there one of the gays passes gas barely makes a sound ohh excuse me he utters. Little later the other gay guy passes gas barely makes a sound kinda of ashamed he says ohh sorry. About twenty minutes later the...
  19. cowboyuptex

    cowboyupwis here from corinth texas

    love to smoke that meat
  20. cowboyuptex

    The Jack 10-26-2013.....Lynchburg TN

    we didnt make the draw for texas
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