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sawhorseray

Legendary Pitmaster
Original poster
OTBS Member
★ Lifetime Premier ★
Oct 17, 2014
7,936
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Gilbert, AZ
Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful 25 year-old blonde who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful looks and charm.
She hangs onto Bob's arm and listens intently to his every word.
His buddies at the club are all aghast. At the very first chance, they corner him and ask, "Bob, how did you get the trophy girlfriend?"
Bob replies, "Girlfriend? She's my wife!"
They're amazed, but continue to ask. "So, how did you persuade her to marry you?"
"I lied about my age", Bob replies.
"What, did you tell her you were only 50?"
Bob smiles and says, "No, I told her I was 90."




A king wanted to go fishing,🐟 and he asked the royal weather forecaster the forecast for the next few hours.
The palace meteorologist assured him that there was no chance of rain.🌧️
So the King and the Queen went fishing.
On the way, he met a man with a fishing pole riding on a donkey, and he asked the man if the fish were biting.
The fisherman said, “Your Majesty, you should return to the palace! In just a short time I expect a huge rain storm."⛈️
The King replied: "I hold the palace meteorologist in high regard. He is an educated and experienced professional. Besides, I pay him very high wages.
He gave me a very different forecast. I trust him."
So the King continued on his way.
However, in a short time a torrential rain⛈️ fell from the sky. The King and Queen were totally soaked.
Furious, the King returned to the palace, and gave the order to fire the meteorologist.
Then he summoned the fisherman and offered him the prestigious position of royal forecaster.
The fisherman said, “Your Majesty, I do not know anything about forecasting.
I obtain my information from my donkey.
If I see my donkey's ears drooping, it means with certainty that...it will rain."
So the King hired the donkey.
And thus began the practice of hiring dumb asses to work in influential positions of government.
👉The practice is unbroken to this date... 😊

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These are some of the best ones yet! The older I get the more I identify with these 1, is great. Thanks Ray.
 
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Me either . My parents had me so scared of drugs .


Same here.
However, my folks had no problems letting me drink beer, wine, and some of the hard stuff once in a while.
I was around 13 when my father handed me a carton of smokes and said,
" I would rather you do it in front of me than behind my back".
 
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#4 I need to check my parents basement. Pretty sure there are a few I never got to down there. Might even be worth some money?
More than you think!
When I retired I was looking around for something to fill my time all winter and thought I might get back into it.
Went to Hobby Lobby and was dumbfounded at the prices of kits.
 
Went to Hobby Lobby and was dumbfounded at the prices of kits.
That's for sure . I always look at the second hand shops .
My Dad was in the Army Air Corp . He did all planes from that era . Nice detail . Then I blew them all up with fire crackers . So stupid , but you don't know that then .
This is the last one I have . I'm in luck if I ever open it . It's the right skill level .
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That's for sure . I always look at the second hand shops .
My Dad was in the Army Air Corp . He did all planes from that era . Nice detail . Then I blew them all up with fire crackers . So stupid , but you don't know that then .
This is the last one I have . I'm in luck if I ever open it . It's the right skill level .
View attachment 502355
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Planes like these? planes.jpg
This post made me check the closet and I found one unopened. Maybe this winter.
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For what it's worth I did the same firecracker thing with some ship models....
 
Very nice Dan . Are those your models ? Makes me want to open the box .
My Dad had a whole slew of P-38 lightnings . He was a ground based radio operator in the Korean war . Talked about them alot . So I'm guessing those are the planes he dealt with .
 
Very nice Dan . Are those your models ? Makes me want to open the box .
My Dad had a whole slew of P-38 lightnings . He was a ground based radio operator in the Korean war . Talked about them alot . So I'm guessing those are the planes he dealt with .
I believe these are mostly WW2 era planes. Yes they are mine.
Dad also served during the Korea thing, although in supply in Georgia.
 
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Very nice Dan . Are those your models ? Makes me want to open the box .
My Dad had a whole slew of P-38 lightnings . He was a ground based radio operator in the Korean war . Talked about them alot . So I'm guessing those are the planes he dealt with .

That was a nice collection of planes!!!
I've had a "P-38" on my Keychain for 52 years, but this one wasn't a plane.
I lost my beloved Zippo, but never lost my P-38.

Bear
 
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That was a nice collection of planes!!!
I've had a "P-38" on my Keychain for 52 years, but this one wasn't a plane.
I lost my beloved Zippo, but never lost my P-38.
Was yours made by Lockheed ?
I never smoked , but had a nice Zippo lighter that I can't find . Has to be here somewhere . You're gonna make me look again .
I had a couple of the can openers too . Can't find them either .
Always happens when I put things where I can find them .
 
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