I agree with you Dutch! When kids do wrong they need to learn.
Let me tell you how messed up the system is:
When my boy was 14 he went to Caldors with a group of friends. For some reason they thought it would be fun to steal Cds. One of the boys was 16 and had a car. Well my boy had a hard time with this idea, but finally ened up grabbing something and left the store.
They got in the car and started t take off and the boy couldn't go through with it. He asked them to let him back out and went back to the store (they took off) and told the lady at the service desk he stole the CD,was sorry and wanted to return in. The lady called the cops, and the store had him arrested.
Well I went to thepolice station and the cop that had him in a little room said "Mamam nobody saw him take the CD the only witness they have is him and he doesn't have to testify against himself." I asked what happened and gave him a big hug and told him it was wrong but I was proud of him for bringing it back.
So the cop says "all you have to do is recant your story and your outta here." I looked at my boy and he at me and at the same time said, " You want him to lie?" Long story short he wouldn't lie and got arrested.
We went to court and all these people were getting extended probations for multiple crimes and now it's our turn.
Again now the judge says" He doesn't have to testify against himself no body saw him take the CD." My boy says, "Sir I did wrong and I am sorry but I am here to pay for my crime."
The judge looks at me and says, "Mamam, talk to the boy, explain to him that if he doesn't admit he stole the CD we can't procecute him."
I shook my head totally confused now and said "But You Honor he did stealt the CD and he is willing to suffer the consequences and I am proud that he is trying to do the right thing."
The judge got Pi##ed at us! SO he says "OKAY FINE! $50 fine or 30 days community service," then looks at me and says "pay the clerk outside the door."
Again I am confused and say "excuse me sir but, what will the boy learn if I buy he way out of trouble?"
The judge is now really red faced and say "Are you trying to tell me your going to make the boy do community service rather than paying a lousy 50 bucks?"
I said "But sir, I did not do the crime the boy did and he must learn to live with his decisions."
He threw us out of the court room and the boy did his 30 days. Nothing hard but for free labor after school and Saturadays at the library, town hall and YMCA cleaning up after people.
I still beleive in my heart we did what was right even though the cops and the judge were ready to have us both committed to a nut house. How do these kids learn anything if they are not punished when they do wrong? I knew that day my boy had learned what I taught him and I was very proud even though it started out bad.