Apparently a fake story, but good for a laugh anyways.
Johnstown, PA (GlossyNews) - Animal Rights Activists protest
Leather-wearing at a biker rally
Local and state police scoured the hills outside rural Johnstown,
Pennsylvania, after reports of three animal rights activists missing
after attempting to protest the wearing of leather at a large motorcycle
gang rally this weekend. Two others, previously reported missing, were
discovered by fast food workers "duct taped inside several fast food
restaurant dumpsters," according to police officials. "Something just
went wrong," said a still visibly shaken organizer of the protest.
"Something just went horribly, horribly, wrong." The organizer said a
group of concerned animal rights activist groups, "growing tired of
throwing fake blood and shouting profanities at older women wearing
leather or fur coats," decided to protest the annual motorcycle club
event "in a hope to show them our outrage at their wanton use of leather
in their clothing and motor bike seats." "In fact," said the organizer,
"motorcycle gangs are one of the biggest abusers of wearing leather, and
we decided it was high time that we let them know that we disagree with
them using it... ergo, they should stop."
According to witnesses, protesters arrived at the event in a vintage
1960's era Volkswagen van and began to pelt the gang members with
balloons filled with red colored water, simulating blood, and shouting
"you're murderers" to passers by. This, evidently, is when the brouhaha
began.
"They peed on me!!!" charged one activist. "They grabbed me, said I
looked like I was French, started calling me 'La Trene', and duct taped
me to a tree so they could pee on me all day!"
"I... I was trying to show my outrage at a man with a heavy leather
jacket, and he... he didn't even care. I called him a murderer, and all
he said was, 'You can't prove that.' Next thing I know he forced me to
ride on the back of his motorcycle all day, and would not let me off,
because his girl friend was out of town and I was almost a woman."
Still others claimed they were forced to eat hamburgers and hot dogs
under duress. Those who resisted were allegedly held down while several
bikers "farted on their heads."
Police officials declined comments on any leads or arrests due to the
ongoing nature of the investigation, however, organizers for the
motorcycle club rally expressed "surprise" at the allegations..
"That's preposterous," said one high-ranking member of the biker
organizing committee. "We were having a party, and these people showed
up and were very rude to us. They threw things at us, called us names,
and tried to ruin the entire event. So, what did we do? We invited them
to the party! What could be more friendly than that? You know, just
because we are all members of motorcycle clubs does not mean we do not
care about inclusiveness. Personally, I think it shows a lack of
character for them to be saying such nasty things about us after we bent
over backwards to make them feel welcome."
When confronted with the allegations of force-feeding the activists
meat, using them as ad hoc latrines, leaving them incapacitated in fast
food restaurant dumpsters, and 'farting on their heads,' the organizer
declined to comment in detail. "That's just our secret handshake,"
assured the organizer.
Johnstown, PA (GlossyNews) - Animal Rights Activists protest
Leather-wearing at a biker rally
Local and state police scoured the hills outside rural Johnstown,
Pennsylvania, after reports of three animal rights activists missing
after attempting to protest the wearing of leather at a large motorcycle
gang rally this weekend. Two others, previously reported missing, were
discovered by fast food workers "duct taped inside several fast food
restaurant dumpsters," according to police officials. "Something just
went wrong," said a still visibly shaken organizer of the protest.
"Something just went horribly, horribly, wrong." The organizer said a
group of concerned animal rights activist groups, "growing tired of
throwing fake blood and shouting profanities at older women wearing
leather or fur coats," decided to protest the annual motorcycle club
event "in a hope to show them our outrage at their wanton use of leather
in their clothing and motor bike seats." "In fact," said the organizer,
"motorcycle gangs are one of the biggest abusers of wearing leather, and
we decided it was high time that we let them know that we disagree with
them using it... ergo, they should stop."
According to witnesses, protesters arrived at the event in a vintage
1960's era Volkswagen van and began to pelt the gang members with
balloons filled with red colored water, simulating blood, and shouting
"you're murderers" to passers by. This, evidently, is when the brouhaha
began.
"They peed on me!!!" charged one activist. "They grabbed me, said I
looked like I was French, started calling me 'La Trene', and duct taped
me to a tree so they could pee on me all day!"
"I... I was trying to show my outrage at a man with a heavy leather
jacket, and he... he didn't even care. I called him a murderer, and all
he said was, 'You can't prove that.' Next thing I know he forced me to
ride on the back of his motorcycle all day, and would not let me off,
because his girl friend was out of town and I was almost a woman."
Still others claimed they were forced to eat hamburgers and hot dogs
under duress. Those who resisted were allegedly held down while several
bikers "farted on their heads."
Police officials declined comments on any leads or arrests due to the
ongoing nature of the investigation, however, organizers for the
motorcycle club rally expressed "surprise" at the allegations..
"That's preposterous," said one high-ranking member of the biker
organizing committee. "We were having a party, and these people showed
up and were very rude to us. They threw things at us, called us names,
and tried to ruin the entire event. So, what did we do? We invited them
to the party! What could be more friendly than that? You know, just
because we are all members of motorcycle clubs does not mean we do not
care about inclusiveness. Personally, I think it shows a lack of
character for them to be saying such nasty things about us after we bent
over backwards to make them feel welcome."
When confronted with the allegations of force-feeding the activists
meat, using them as ad hoc latrines, leaving them incapacitated in fast
food restaurant dumpsters, and 'farting on their heads,' the organizer
declined to comment in detail. "That's just our secret handshake,"
assured the organizer.
