Know the Symptoms!

[ofelles]

A.A.A.D.D.- KNOW THE SYMPTOMS!​

Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder. Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests: I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing. As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I lay my car keys on the table, Put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, And notice that the can is full. So, I decide to put the bills back On the table and take out the garbage first... But then I think, Since I'm going to be near the mailbox When I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. I take my check book off the table, And see that there is only one check left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, So I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Pepsi I'd been drinking. I'm going to look for my checks, But first I need to push the Pepsi aside So that I don't accidentally knock it over. The Pepsi is getting warm, And I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold. As I head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi, A vase of flowers on the counter Catches my eye--they need water. I put the Pepsi on the counter and Discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk, But first I'm going to water the flowers. I set the glasses back down on the counter , Fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table. I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I'll be looking for the remote, But I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, So I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, But first I'll water the flowers. I pour some water in the flowers, But quite a bit of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back on the table, Get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then, I head down the hall trying to Remember what I was planning to do. At the end of the day: The car isn't washed, The bills aren't paid, There is a warm can of Pepsi sitting on the counter, The flowers don't have enough water, There is still only 1 check in my check book, I can't find the remote, I can't find my glasses, And I don't remember what I did with the car keys. Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day, And I'm really tired. I realize this is a serious problem, And I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.... Do me a favor. Forward this message to everyone you know, Because I don't remember who I've sent it to. Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming! P.S. I don't remember who sent it to me, so if it was you, I’m sorry!​

 

[bauchjw]

I can see the symptoms already, but I'm already in the stage 4 of Kid Activated Attention Deficit Disorder and do not know if I'll make it to Age Activated. It's pretty much the same symptoms as described above, but instead of saying "I" followed by a verb, it's "One of the Kids" followed by a verb. So.... as an example:

My wife goes out for a Saturday with some friends, I decide to water my garden while my kids are playing.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway, the kids attention shifts from their current distractions to me
One of the kids offers to help and starts grabbing at the hose and another kid rubs dirt on my truck because he wants to wash it instead of watering the garden.

As I start toward the kid rubbing dirt on my truck,
I notice mail in the bushes next to the porch that
one of the kids had pushed off the porch for some reason earlier.

I decide to pick up the mail before I stop the dirt rubbing kid and wash the truck

I lay my truck keys on the porch step,
Put the mail next to the keys,
And while walking towards the dirt kid notice another kid putting the mail in our recycling bin because "That's what Mommy does."

So, I decide to pull the mail out of the recycling bin to decide what are bills and what are junk

But then I hear my Trucks Panic alarm,
The dirt kid likes to hit the red button om my key fob.

I take my stack of mail and a kid in one arm,
and see that the dirt and Truck panic alarm kid has run into the house with the keys.
.
The kid is probably going to hide behind the couch with my keys,
So I go inside the house, to the couch hiding spot, with one kid and mail in my arms
and make my way to the living room, but find a cup half filled with warm milk a kid had been drinking on a coffee table.

I'm going to look for one of my kids whose hiding my truck keys,
But first I need to pick up the warm milk cup
So that one of the kids doesn't accidentally knock it over.

I set one kid down and ask them to put the mail on the kitchen table.
I pick up the warm milk, then find the other kid behind the couch,
I get the keys, and turn off my Truck's panic alarm, but the hiding kid starts crying louder than the trucks horn.

As I head toward the kitchen with the milk, one of the kids crying behind me
A vase of flowers on the counter has been moved
Movement catches my eye--another kid decided they need water.
I tell them to wait for daddy to help.

I put the warm milk cup on the counter and
Discover my reading glasses that
I've been searching for all morning had been returned.
But they were covered with stickers and painted with rainbows,
One of the kids decided that they looked prettier that way.

I set the glasses back down on the counter wondering if I can clean them enough to use again,
The kid who wanted to fill the flower vase starts filling the vase,
I say "Wait for Daddy" and suddenly spot the TV remote.
Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,
I'll be looking for the remote,
But one of the kids will move it from the kitchen table,
I decide to put it back by the TV where it belongs,
But one of the kids will randomly put it in a boot sitting in the hallway closet and we wont find it anyway

One of the kids pours some water in the flowers while I debate about the remote, even though I told them to wait,
But quite a bit of it spills on the floor when the vase is broken after it drops onto the floor

So, I set the remote back on the table,
Get a broom, dust pan, and some towels to clean up the glass and water.
One of the other kids that heard the breaking glass comes into the kitchen and I tell them to stay away from the sharp glass
But they don't listen and, when my back is turned getting the broom, get cut on a glass shard

Then, I head down the hall carrying one of the kids with a bleeding finger to get a Band-Aid
Trying to Remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:
The garden doesn't get watered
Truck that didn't need to be washed now needs to be washed,
The mail is covered in dirt,
There is a warm cup of milk sitting on the counter,
A wedding gift flower vase is shattered,
A kid is bawling behind the couch because I wont let him play with my truck keys,
Another kid is bawling because they feel bad about breaking a vase
Another kid is bawling because they cut their finger
I can't find the remote,
My glasses have so much bling that I cant use them,
Then, my wife comes home from a day with her friends and asks why nothing was done today
I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day,
And I'm really tired and cant wait to go back to work on Monday.

I realize this is a serious problem,
And I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check SMF.......

 

[tx smoker]

A.A.A.D.D.- KNOW THE SYMPTOMS!

I think I read this before but can't seem to remember.....

I can see the symptoms already, but I'm already in the stage 4 of Kid Activated Attention Deficit Disorder

Oh man do I remember those days. We had 3 and it was quite a handful keeping up with them. Never read that one before but it sure drives some points of parenthood home. Honestly, that should be required curriculum in Planned Parenthood classes

Robert

 

[daveomak]

And we wonder why women are so good at multitasking....

 

[Brokenhandle]

I pretty well suck at it but my wife is great at multi tasking! But I'm good with it! I have no issues with her wearing the pants in the family... cuz if I'm not wearing them they won't get too tight on me!

Ryan

 

[forktender]

Did you pack your lunch ? Or walk too work today ?

 

[JLeonard]

This is my daily life with my wife. LOL.
Jim

 

[GaryHibbert]

Symptoms??? What symptoms???
Gary

 

[fxsales1959]

A.A.A.D.D.- KNOW THE SYMPTOMS!​

Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder. Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests: I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing. As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I lay my car keys on the table, Put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, And notice that the can is full. So, I decide to put the bills back On the table and take out the garbage first... But then I think, Since I'm going to be near the mailbox When I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. I take my check book off the table, And see that there is only one check left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, So I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Pepsi I'd been drinking. I'm going to look for my checks, But first I need to push the Pepsi aside So that I don't accidentally knock it over. The Pepsi is getting warm, And I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold. As I head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi, A vase of flowers on the counter Catches my eye--they need water. I put the Pepsi on the counter and Discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk, But first I'm going to water the flowers. I set the glasses back down on the counter , Fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table. I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I'll be looking for the remote, But I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, So I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, But first I'll water the flowers. I pour some water in the flowers, But quite a bit of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back on the table, Get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then, I head down the hall trying to Remember what I was planning to do. At the end of the day: The car isn't washed, The bills aren't paid, There is a warm can of Pepsi sitting on the counter, The flowers don't have enough water, There is still only 1 check in my check book, I can't find the remote, I can't find my glasses, And I don't remember what I did with the car keys. Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day, And I'm really tired. I realize this is a serious problem, And I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.... Do me a favor. Forward this message to everyone you know, Because I don't remember who I've sent it to. Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming! P.S. I don't remember who sent it to me, so if it was you, I’m sorry!​

All I have to say about this is.......