Combo Apartment friendly Smoker

[yankee in ua]

Due to fire regs I will not be using real fire at home as I live in an apartment with a closed in (and very small) 6th floor balcony.  I am actually going to remodel later this year and convert it to a four seasons dining room.

I was going to try the flower pot smoker, but then the light came on and I remembered, that DUH no space to keep the sucker when its not working and the lil woman is NOT going to put up with tripping over that thing every time she wants to kick back out there. 

So my 2 or 3 remaining active brain cells started sparking and I remembered that in our city in Crimea Ukraine, (Yes, I'm a Male Order Groom) there's a Home Depot type of place where I saw folding grills.  In this part of the world a grill is basically just a metal box for the fire and you use these long skewers called shampori to grill kabobs or a clam shell grill basket.  Cooking grids aren't that common but can be found.

So I think I can make a smoker using 2 of these grill boxes.  One for the hot plate and the other for the lid.  They're about 2 feet long so I MIGHT be able to offset the food enough to cold smoke, but that will be something to tinker with when I get home and buy the parts.  Based on what I've read so far, I suspect I'll need a second box and some ducting though.

Basically I'll be getting 2 of these.  I'll just omit the legs for the top.  100 UAH (Ukrainian grivna) is about $8, FYI.

Btw, you can use google translate to read the pages at the site.  Just install the toolbar add on.

I can fold them up flat and store out of the way when I'm not smoking AND I'll have TWO grills if we want to burn some kabobs for a crowd.  HUAH!!

For about $10 more I can buy the same thing with a set of six 18-20 inch skewers.  Add a hot plate and I should be looking at well under $40 for the whole thing.  And bear in mind that Smokers are unheard of in these parts so I'll probably have the only pit in town once I get it fired up.  Buying one here is not an option and shipping is.......well lets just say it'd be cheaper to fly back to the States and buy one.

I promise to get the Gview posted as soon as I get things going.  And I'll post some accurate dimensions then as well.

With a little luck I'll be carving some brisket for the 4th.

 

[adiochiro3]

Sounds like a great and creative solution.  I saw your title, and was going to suggest a hot plate/electric style deal, but you've got it covered.  Post some pix of the contraption once you have it built. 

BBQ in the Ukraine -- they'll flip for it!!!!

 

[yankee in ua]

BBQ in the Ukraine -- they'll flip for it!!!!

I'm pretty sure of it.

I know a guy from Boise who lived there for awhile and I think he and his hottie had a BBQ joint someplace over there.  I gotta go check with him soon.

I don't think I'll turn it into a business.  I just enjoy the oo's and ah's.

I'll keep on studying here, but not today.  After a sleepless night (thinking about my smoker build) and a 4 am wake up to get to the airport, I'm not focussing so well atm.  3 more hours and I can check my bags in at JFK and go relax until the 7 pm to Moscow.  I'll be surprising my lady around 8pm tomorrow night.  She still thinks I'm coming on Wednesday.  Hehehehehe...........

 

[yankee in ua]

Well, I made it home last Monday and enjoyed the shocked look on her face when I showed up 2 days before she expected me.

I've been scoping possible grills, etc. for my smoker build.  I must say I forgot just how small 2 sq meters really is!  That's the size of our enclosed balcony that will become a 4 seasons DR later this year. 

I think I may come back to the flower pot smoker idea after all.  Does anyone know of any problems (health wise) with smoking in aluminum pots?  I think I can make something work with a big stock pot and even work in a side box for cold smoking.  Some ducting and a cardboard box would do just fine (I think?).  Thoughts?

 

[tjohnson]

Well, I made it home last Monday and enjoyed the shocked look on her face when I showed up 2 days before she expected me.

I've been scoping possible grills, etc. for my smoker build.  I must say I forgot just how small 2 sq meters really is!  That's the size of our enclosed balcony that will become a 4 seasons DR later this year. 

I think I may come back to the flower pot smoker idea after all.  Does anyone know of any problems (health wise) with smoking in aluminum pots?  I think I can make something work with a big stock pot and even work in a side box for cold smoking.  Some ducting and a cardboard box would do just fine (I think?).  Thoughts?

I don;t like to pitch my little gadget, but why not be the 1st guy in the Ukraine to have an A-MAZE-N-SMOKER?

It's perfect for your situation!

You can smoke in a grill or even a cardboard box.

Todd

 

[jjwdiver]

I agree with Todd...the AMNS would be perfect for that!  Plus you'll be a trend setter.

 

[yankee in ua]

I'd love to TJ, but the shipping alone would almost justify flying back to the States to pick one up.  And then there's all the bribes I'd have to pay to ensure delivery. 

 

The postal carriers here pad their pockets by collecting an "insurance premium" from the little old ladies to make sure their pension checks arrive in their mail boxes.  Its either pay a little to get most of it or lose it all as the check simply disappears every month.   In some regards its like the wild west here, but if you have some money you can grease a palm here and there to get things done.  It's going to take a long time for things to change.  We basically have the old communists still in charge only now they're wearing a capitalist's suit.  I'm thinking another 20-50 years before things start to look like a true democracy here.

 

[tjohnson]

And you moved from a "Free Country" why?

Love?

Todd

 

[yankee in ua]

Yep, Love. 

Its not as bad as I made it sound, really.  They do, do things different here no doubt about that.  They're working hard to put the old Soviet ideas behind them, its just gonna take the bureaucracy awhile to catch up.  But day in and day out, I wouldn't want to live anywhere else, well maybe Mexico or Belize in the winter, but well, you know.  My pension and disability (VA) is more than I actually need to live on here too.  It's really nice to have more money than month for a change.

But hey, short skirts & high heels everywhere you look, whats not to love?  The women actually work at looking like women.  And the top shelf (Stoli & Absolute are rot gut brands), yet still cheap, vodka doesn't hurt either.

As for freedom, you're only as free as you want to be.  It doesn't matter what your govt is doing (or undoing).

 

[yankee in ua]

Well, I realized that the cardboard box idea just might be my best bet. 

I have a box big enough.  All I need is a hot plate and a grid to set the meat on and I should be in business soon.  We're going to the bazaar later today so I'll see what I can find there.

 

[tjohnson]

I'm a little nervous about the hotplate and the cardboard box, especially on a balcony!!

Are you just looking to cold smoke?

If so, many guys use a soldering iron and a soup can filled with pellets or chips.  It's very cheap and very effective.  Then, you have little $$ invested and easy to store.

Todd

 

[yankee in ua]

I'm a little nervous about the hotplate and the cardboard box, especially on a balcony!!

Are you just looking to cold smoke?

If so, many guys use a soldering iron and a soup can filled with pellets or chips.  It's very cheap and very effective.  Then, you have little $$ invested and easy to store.

Todd

Actually I found your iron and box thread right after I posted, TJ.  I found a very deep alum stock pot with about 4 stackable steaming trays at the bazaar today too.  Should work great for small batches of ribs, brisket, etc.

 

[yankee in ua]

I was in a rush when I posted the last one.

I do want to start out with cold smoking.  My goal is a reliable source of bacon, which for some reason is hard to find in these parts.  I can probably do it on the stove top under the range hood (while SWMBO is at work). 

I thought I read something about this somewhere around here, but now I can't find it (of course).  I only read about using a soup can.  What's wrong with other cans, say veggie cans, etc?  I searched around and read several threads, but all I find is talk of the iron.

Thanks

 

[johnyd]

Any old can will do the job, it will get a bit hot and you need to take care when removing the can / iron to refill.

Get the lowest power rating you can ( lower heat output ) you will need to wait a few minutes for it to start smoldering proper.

Cover the solder iron handle with a layer or two of aluminium foil to prevent it from melting ( it happens

)

When you have cold smoked your bacon in this way you can use an oven to bring the meat up to temp for a cooked product.

 

[yankee in ua]

That's good to know Johny, Thanks.  Canned veggies are everywhere, but these people DO NOT buy soup, they cook it at home.  No canned soup in any market I've seen yet here.  My next excursion to the bazaar I'm going to grab that steamer pot I saw yesterday and then find a hardware/tool stall and grab a low watt iron.  Then I'll have a cold and hot smoker in one small easy to stash unit.

I guess I should grab a hatchet while I'm at it as I'll have to make my own chips.  I can get ward wood sticks (oak and maple) at the supermarket, but I'll have to cut em down for chunk or chips.  If I get lucky I should be able to score some grape vines this Fall and experiment with that flavor a bit. 

I'd love to find a saw mill or someplace I could get sawdust, but that will be later on down the road.

 

[jirodriguez]

Definately a make-do-as-you-can solution solver.... lol. Can't wait to see some pics of how this all comes together and some smoke pics!

 

[alaskanbear]

OK, I will say what most are already thinking... How about Q-view of the short skirts and heels??? LMOAO...

 

[michael ark]

The problem with us guys,is god only gave us enough blood to run one head at a time.

 

[yankee in ua]

Couldn't finds skirts and heels.  You'll have to make do with a beach pic.  This one from last Sep.

 

[meateater]

I want to see the one after you yelled SHARK !!