Because it's Tuesday!

  • Some of the links on this forum allow SMF, at no cost to you, to earn a small commission when you click through and make a purchase. Let me know if you have any questions about this.
SMF is reader-supported. When you buy through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission.

sawhorseray

Legendary Pitmaster
Original poster
OTBS Member
★ Lifetime Premier ★
Oct 17, 2014
7,928
12,781
Gilbert, AZ
Police officer pulls over a speeding car. The Officer says, " Our patrol helicopter clocked you at 80 mph. sir."

The driver says, "Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar needs calibrating."

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says sweetly, "Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you keep your mouth shut for once?"

The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did."

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Dammit, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut."

The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."

The driver says, "Yeah, well you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket."

The wife says," Now dear you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU SHUT THE HELL UP??"

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"

"Oh heavens no, officer. Only when he's been drinking."
C56ED478-B74C-4332-AD1A-498E527F1F3E.jpeg
C0176FC6-4EAD-424B-A365-2A3B029FB14A.jpeg
C787679F-72F8-4AEE-BA8C-CAF47D880BC8.jpeg
calif.jpg
capitalism.jpg
cartwheel.jpg
cat8.jpg
cat10.jpg
CD2B5710-ED15-4905-88FD-36C8C6F2789F.jpeg
CD161F88-1FDB-4FAE-8B23-E892A6030816.jpeg
CE694842-1D2B-4544-A101-606083DDCF8E.jpeg
computer.jpg
D0D6057E-9D49-46CE-B511-0ED3DF7E4FBE.jpeg
D8AAB56E-9A6F-4235-A62D-31F531E25341.jpeg
D9E15FB6-53D2-4B86-AF3F-C442952067FE.jpeg
D29C4E53-B0E5-4AFF-816B-3A8A9283674A.jpeg
D9213F06-A52B-47FF-AD57-DBDC477A22BF.jpeg
DBC7FE75-D2EC-4BB2-9F01-9C2737AB1C33.jpeg
E0C9B31F-F30B-46A8-B5F4-BF6B2D9DE46F.jpeg
each%20other.jpg
F3193357-5595-497A-A814-1E774DF2321C.jpeg
FBA54349-500F-4D66-B57F-BDCD359A9A74.jpeg
FD1479A5-5E3C-4C87-B163-797067DA6448.jpeg
gun.jpg
hemmoroid.jpg
images.jpg
loud%20speaker.jpg
main-qimg-a89163395f0c0b8ace667f380ebde6bf-lq.jpg
mceclip0 (1).jpg
mceclip0 (2).jpg
mceclip0.jpg
mceclip0.png
poyato.jpg
praying.jpg
put20back.jpg
racing.jpg
redneck.jpg
reindeer.jpg
tumblr_285b6ce91f886ca335edb292121853d3_44c66445_1280.jpg
turner%20brown.jpg
 
SmokingMeatForums.com is reader supported and as an Amazon Associate, we may earn commissions from qualifying purchases.

Hot Threads

Clicky