Fine Batch 4 Monday!

  • Some of the links on this forum allow SMF, at no cost to you, to earn a small commission when you click through and make a purchase. Let me know if you have any questions about this.
SMF is reader-supported. When you buy through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission.

sawhorseray

Legendary Pitmaster
Original poster
OTBS Member
★ Lifetime Premier ★
Oct 17, 2014
7,938
12,805
Gilbert, AZ
Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader."

The gas pump, of course, didn't respond.

The younger alien became angry at the lack of response.

The older alien said, 'I'd calm down if I were you.'

The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting. Again, there was no response.

Angry at the pump's haughty attitude, he drew his ray gun and said gruffly, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader or I will fire!"

The older alien again warned his comrade saying, 'You probably don't want to do that! I really think that will make him mad.'

'Rubbish,' replied the cocky, young alien. He aimed his weapon and opened fire. There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball roared towards him and blew the younger alien off his feet and threw him in a burnt, smoking mess about 200 yards away in a cactus patch.

Half an hour passed. When he finally regained consciousness, he refocused his three eyes, straightened his bent antenna, and looked dazedly at the older, wiser alien who was standing over him shaking his big, green head.

'What a ferocious creature!' exclaimed the young, fried alien. 'He almost killed me! How did you know he was so dangerous?'

The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy friend and replied, 'If there's one thing I've learned during my intergalactic travels, you never mess with a guy who can loop his penis over his shoulder twice and then stick it in his ear.'

428599032_7211110138944064_546726630262860736_n.jpg
428601521_742360911415455_6841147634078391636_n.jpg
428603090_1506299896598030_2252814523217549937_n.jpg
428609873_742355584749321_6888114750485902797_n.jpg
428626420_10161721762314747_261128024776237100_n.jpg
428627302_7869149159779783_220219302495331703_n.jpg
428630431_1464081997512120_3420999393887948962_n.jpg
428633227_10161723131254747_7254496425537073188_n.jpg
428638511_3754389364842620_1213331929213117251_n.jpg
428657369_10211768376920545_5108596557598690579_n.jpg
428663004_1456295864925187_7680776387699102945_n.jpg
428672966_7322363571154420_7258859263180002730_n.jpg
428683449_7137624656274555_2141118735501988733_n.jpg
428683723_1506190083275678_1194572896879976599_n.jpg
428684173_814647807367827_6896370371752373397_n.jpg
428685125_10225875491973917_4636454522767623024_n.jpg
428696430_3688020304807929_4672158215827860563_n.jpg
430550597_10226482723556541_7104823299452295220_n.jpg
428711736_421104147057418_3184360364028723981_n.jpg
429565741_3756101078004782_3351779908803808711_n.jpg
429567139_3759232587691631_5204859614127899659_n.jpg
429573336_747457934030373_8895992014872262632_n.jpg
429587014_817287973770477_6720668193865980412_n.jpg
429591335_3759457587669131_1939096494449972520_n.jpg
429649895_761223666071720_2828985402997976246_n.jpg
429653778_10231105788329472_2643995022958792158_n.jpg
429654212_7619906674706651_8029714479468383548_n.jpg
429661262_8217691751591844_3034571238245120090_n.jpg
429674441_7602626289769474_3745596007303786355_n.jpg
429674520_426684813216272_6629001532733281427_n.jpg
429684048_7154685064568514_5563473722524262974_n.jpg
429757692_712114591114561_6507108516252260041_n.jpg
429783767_10234150318725910_8441754773963943793_n.jpg
429857800_3763899307224959_3236523675430540373_n.jpg
430050795_821470150018926_472430680215257887_n.jpg
430055775_10161744389624747_2650989282376518199_n.jpg
430063436_799096375585026_3491091524383138913_n.jpg
430068591_10222231744494009_7299395267861897187_n.jpg
430092103_321181357616892_890885822240497404_n.jpg
430323344_10228371699896210_3807492766813576359_n.jpg
430550597_10226482723556541_7104823299452295220_n.jpg

430615297_122116691564213786_1895908026905595019_n.jpg

430938500_10225167666794369_2927769186983415505_n.jpg

431219687_10233157126454433_144947649204759550_n.jpg
 

Attachments

  • 428698451_7752042661496939_1798611421814143357_n.jpg
    428698451_7752042661496939_1798611421814143357_n.jpg
    77.2 KB · Views: 18
I'm late to the party, but these are great as usual Ray. Definitely needed these today, in a way I'm glad I was late, lol. The first 2 made me lol.
 
  • Like
Reactions: sawhorseray
SmokingMeatForums.com is reader supported and as an Amazon Associate, we may earn commissions from qualifying purchases.

Latest posts

Hot Threads

Clicky