Christmas Season Ailments

[the iceman]

1. SCHIZOPHRENIA: -- Do You Hear What We Hear?
2. AMNESIA -- I Don't Know If I'll be Home for Christmas.
3. NARCISSIST -- Hark the Herald Angels Sing - All About Me.
4. MANIC -- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants, and...
5. MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER -- We Three Queens Disoriented Are
6. PARANOID --- Santa Claus Is Coming To Get Me.
7. BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER -- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire.
8. FULL PERSONALITY DISORDER -- You Better Watch Out! I'm Gonna Cry; I'm Gonna Pout! Maybe I'll Tell You Why.
9. OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER -- Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells...
10. AGORAPHOBIA -- I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day, but Wouldn't Leave My House.
11. SENILE DEMENTIA -- Walking in a Winter Wonderland -- Miles from My House in My Slippers and Pajamas.
12. OPPOSITIONAL DEFIANCE DISORDER -- I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus -so I Burned Down the House.
13. SOCIAL ANXIETY DISORDER -- Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas, While I Sit Here and Hyperventilate.
14. ATTENTION DEFICIT DISORDER -- We Wish You a... Hey Look!!! It's Snowing!!!

 

[beer-b-q]