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A minister dies and is in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans. Saint Peter addresses this guy, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?" The guy replies, "I'm Joe Cohen...

Joe went to the Doctor and said, "Doc, you gotta check my leg! Something is really wrong! Just put your ear up to my thigh! You'll hear it!" The Doctor, a bit skeptical, leaned in and placed his ear against the Joe’s thigh. To his shock, he heard a faint whisper, "Hey buddy, can you lend me 20...

A businessman is driving through a small town, on his way to an important presentation... He suddenly realizes he needs a haircut and doesn’t have much extra time. He remembers there’s a little barbershop on the next corner, so he stops, and a short while later he’s back on his way... A few...

A young lady came home from a date, rather sad. She told her mother "Jeff proposed to me an hour ago." Then why are you so sad? "Because he also told me he was an atheist. Mom, he doesn't even believe there is a hell." Her mother replied: "Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we'll...

HELL, LOOKS LIKE NOT MANY SEE 'EM MUCH THESE DAYS ANYWAY.

I’ve been alive 72 years now, and I’ve spent a good portion of that time in search of intelligent life outside this planet. So far, I’ve found just as much intelligence in outer space as I have here on Earth: zero. Our Monday night food truck rally starts at 5pm tonight. All your favorite...

FORGOT TO DELETE LAST WEEKS BATCH BEFORE THE NEW ONES CAME IN SO THERE MIGHT BE SOME REPEATS. THEN AGAIN, I DON'T REALLY CARE, SO THERE'S THAT.

OH, IT'S NOT LISTENING EITHER! Defendant was on trial... There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse. In the defense's closing statement, his lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted... resorted to a trick... "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I...

A nun, badly needing to use to the toilet, walked into a very popular local pub\nightclub The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while 'the lights would turn off. Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers. However, when the revelers...

Hilarious town names that actually exist in the US Hell, Michigan About 15 miles northwest of Ann Arbor, Michigan, you'll find the town of Hell. While the name might not sound particularly welcoming, it's actually a playful little community that fully embraces its identity, offering tourists a...

I went to Tractor Supply to buy a bag of food for my dog. Already in line, a woman behind me asked me if I had a dog. I stare at her....(Why would I be buying dog food, right? )So I told her no, I don’t have a dog, that I was starting the dog food diet again, and that I probably shouldn't...

1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. 2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian. 3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still. 4. A rubber band pistol...

DON'T THINK I'LL NEED TO EXPLAIN WHAT THE S.O.S. STANDS FOR!