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A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately the locals had a bad habit of picking on strangers which he was. When he had finished his drink he found his horse had been stolen. He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head...

A cat died and went to Heaven. God met the animal at the Pearly Gates and said, “You have been a good cat all of these years. Anything you want is yours for the asking.” The cat thought for a moment and then said, “All my life I lived on a farm and slept on hard, wooden floors… I would like a...

A blonde was about two hours from the Gold Coast when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down. The man walked up to the car and asked, 'Are you going to the Gold Coast?' 'Sure,' answered the blonde, 'do you need a lift ?' 'Not for me. I'll be spending the next three hours...

We hosted a dinner party for all our friends, some of whom we hadn't seen for ages and everyone was encouraged to bring their children along as well. All throughout dinner my wife's best friend's four-year-old daughter stared at me as I sat opposite her. The girl could hardly eat her food for...

A preacher was seated next to a cowboy on a flight to Texas . After the plane took off, the cowboy asked for a whiskey and soda, which was brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the preacher if he would like a similar drink. Appalled, the preacher replied, "I'd rather be...

A minister dies and is in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans. Saint Peter addresses this guy, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?" The guy replies, "I'm Joe Cohen...

Joe went to the Doctor and said, "Doc, you gotta check my leg! Something is really wrong! Just put your ear up to my thigh! You'll hear it!" The Doctor, a bit skeptical, leaned in and placed his ear against the Joe’s thigh. To his shock, he heard a faint whisper, "Hey buddy, can you lend me 20...

A businessman is driving through a small town, on his way to an important presentation... He suddenly realizes he needs a haircut and doesn’t have much extra time. He remembers there’s a little barbershop on the next corner, so he stops, and a short while later he’s back on his way... A few...

A young lady came home from a date, rather sad. She told her mother "Jeff proposed to me an hour ago." Then why are you so sad? "Because he also told me he was an atheist. Mom, he doesn't even believe there is a hell." Her mother replied: "Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we'll...

HELL, LOOKS LIKE NOT MANY SEE 'EM MUCH THESE DAYS ANYWAY.

I’ve been alive 72 years now, and I’ve spent a good portion of that time in search of intelligent life outside this planet. So far, I’ve found just as much intelligence in outer space as I have here on Earth: zero. Our Monday night food truck rally starts at 5pm tonight. All your favorite...

FORGOT TO DELETE LAST WEEKS BATCH BEFORE THE NEW ONES CAME IN SO THERE MIGHT BE SOME REPEATS. THEN AGAIN, I DON'T REALLY CARE, SO THERE'S THAT.

OH, IT'S NOT LISTENING EITHER! Defendant was on trial... There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse. In the defense's closing statement, his lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted... resorted to a trick... "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I...

A nun, badly needing to use to the toilet, walked into a very popular local pub\nightclub The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while 'the lights would turn off. Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers. However, when the revelers...