Last trip to Costco

[kruizer]

A RETIREE'S LAST TRIP TO COSTCO

Yesterday, I was at Costco buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Bruce, the Wonder Dog, who weighs 191 lbs.

I was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had...an elephant?

So, because I'm retired and have little else to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again.

I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is to load your jacket pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.

(I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stopped to pee on a fire hydrant and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

Costco won't let me shop there anymore.

Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.

Forward this (especially) to all your retired friends...it will be their laugh for the day.


This story really made my day.



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[6GRILLZNTN]

That's awesome!

 

[SonnyE]

Yup, got to watch out for us retiree's.

Bags are illegal here unless you pay for them. I don't know what entity in the State Government gets the dime per bag they charge, but I refuse to play the stupid game.
So the checker's get things back when they ask me if I want a bag:
"No. Thank You. Last time I bought a bag, my milk leaked out of it."
"No. Thank You. I've already paid the CRV of the cans. So I think I'll leave my Beer in them."
"No. Thank You. I refuse to buy into the State run forced programs."

And since I am too absent minded to remember my tote or a reusable bag 99% of the time, I just take my items to my truck in a basket, move them to my truck bag, release the cart, and leave.
I usually aim the cart toward a likely looking socialist's car in the parking lot.
After all, it is store property, and the store is liable.
Don't ask this old man a stupid question.

 

[pushok2018]

kruizer, you just crack me up!!! ...and made my day! Thank you!:)

 

[tropics]

I am keeping this

Richie

 

[cooker613]

A RETIREE'S LAST TRIP TO COSTCO

Yesterday, I was at Costco buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Bruce, the Wonder Dog, who weighs 191 lbs.

I was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had...an elephant?

So, because I'm retired and have little else to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again.

I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is to load your jacket pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.

(I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stopped to pee on a fire hydrant and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

Costco won't let me shop there anymore.

Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.

Forward this (especially) to all your retired friends...it will be their laugh for the day.


This story really made my day.



--


**** R E M E M B E R ****
Be kind and please remove my email address if you forward, and use BCC.
Say no to Scammers. Thank you.

Love it. I’m retired and can hardly wait to use it...and I don’t even have a dog!

 

[johnmeyer]

The best part is that it is absolutely true. :)