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  1. sawhorseray

    BACK 2 NORMAL !!!

    A virile, middle-aged Italian gentleman named Luigi was relaxing at his favorite bar in Rome when he managed to attract a spectacular young blonde woman. Things progressed to the point where he invited her back to his apartment and, after some small talk, they retired to his bedroom where he...
  2. sawhorseray

    HAPPY EASTER ???

  3. sawhorseray

    BEEN BUSY, HERE'S A FEW!

  4. sawhorseray

    THESE JUST IN !!!

    Hillbilly Moms Letter Dear Son, I'm writing this slow 'cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved. Won't be able to send you the address as the last Arkansas family...
  5. sawhorseray

    LONG OPENER !!!

    MemberTrailmaster WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee. Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box. Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week. Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl. And her husband is on the back of the milk carton...
  6. sawhorseray

    MORE, AND 4 FREE !!!

  7. sawhorseray

    RIGHT ON TIME !!!

  8. sawhorseray

    FUR YER SUNDAY !!!

    A flying saucer landed at a gas station on a lonely country road. The two space aliens inside seemed completely unconcerned about detection; in fact, the letters 'UFO' were emblazoned in big, bold letters on one side of their shiny craft. As the station owner stood and gawked in silence...
  9. sawhorseray

    HAPPY MONDAY !!!

  10. sawhorseray

    4 PRESIDENTS DAY !!!

    RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE 1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays. 2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas. 3. I take my wife everywhere...
  11. sawhorseray

    GONE 2 THE DOGS !!!

    A man was in a terrible accident, and his 'manhood' was mangled and torn from his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the surgery since it was considered cosmetic. The doctor said the cost would be $3,500 for...
  12. sawhorseray

    CAN U FEEL IT ???

    A young girl wanted to try out ice fishing. She went out and purchased all the gear she would need and headed to a local spot to try to catch some fish. She went out onto the ice with her gear and after getting comfy on the stool, she started to cut a circular hole in the ice as she had seen on...
  13. sawhorseray

    BACK 2 NORMAL !!!

    According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington recently was faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the...
  14. sawhorseray

    NOT A DAY LATE BUT A OPENING JOKE SHORT!

  15. sawhorseray

    ANOTHER WEEK GONE BY ALREADY ???

    Childbirth at 65 With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 65-year-old friend of mine was able to give birth. When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, I went to visit. 'May I see the new baby?' I asked 'Not yet,' She said 'I'll make coffee and we can visit for a...
  16. sawhorseray

    1ST OF THE NEW YEAR !!!

    Paddy and Mick were both laid off, so they went to the unemployment office. When asked his occupation, Paddy answered, 'Knicker Stitcher.. I sew da elastic onto ladies' knickers and thongs..' The clerk looked up Knicker Stitcher on his computer and, finding it classified as unskilled labour, he...
  17. sawhorseray

    YEARS END SALE !!!

    A ten-year old, under the tutelage of her grandmother, was becoming quite knowledgeable about the Bible. Then one day she floored her grandmother by asking, "Which Virgin was the mother of Jesus? The Virgin Mary or the King James Virgin?" A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as...
  18. sawhorseray

    BAH HUMBUG ???

    A doctor, a lawyer, and an engineer are in a small boat that has run out of fuel not too far offshore, but in shark infested waters. The occupants of the boat are trying to come up a plan to get help. The minister is busy praying for help. The doctor warns the other two that swimming could be...
  19. sawhorseray

    JUST 4 THE HALIBUT !!!

    The other night, I went out with the girls for a much-needed night of fun. Before leaving, I reassured my husband, “I’ll be home by midnight, I promise!” But as these things go, time flew by, and the margaritas flowed a little too freely. At around 3 a.m., a bit tipsy, I finally made my way...
  20. sawhorseray

    DIFFERENT DAY, SAME OLD STORY!

    Redneck Vasectomy After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn't want to have any more children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure...
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