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  1. sawhorseray

    NOT WORTH A SHIRT !!!

  2. sawhorseray

    A NEW YEAR, SAME OLD STUFF !!!

  3. sawhorseray

    CI SKILLET RIBEYE

    FOUND SOMETHING NEW TO ME SO THOUGHT I'D POST SOMETHING BESIDE JOKES, BEEN AWHILE. LAST WEEK I PROCESSED THE 22LB STANDING RIB ROAST I BOUGHT AT LAST YEARS XMAS PRIME SALES FOR $4.75LB, WON'T EVER SEE THOSE PRICES AGAIN. GOT IT SQUARED UP AND SLICED OUT 11 BONELESS RIBEYE STEAKS, 1&1/2"...
  4. sawhorseray

    LAST OF THE YEAR !!!

    A highway patrol officer stops a biker for speeding. He asks the guy his name. “Fred.” He replies. “Fred what?” The officer asks. “Just Fred.” The old man responds. The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might give the old biker a break and write him a warning instead of a ticket. The...
  5. sawhorseray

    R WEE THERE YET ???

    Last Sunday, December 14th, was supposed to be a peaceful day of rest. It was crisp. The coffee was hot. I opened the back door to let Moose out for his morning patrol. Everything was fine for exactly three minutes. Then, my neighbor, Mr. Henderson, decided it was time to unleash his holiday...
  6. sawhorseray

    WELL, HERE WE ARE !!!

    Two 70-year-old men, Bill and Ted, had been friends their whole lives. When it became clear that Ted was dying, Bill visited him every day. One day Bill said, “Ted, we’ve loved baseball all our lives, and we played every Saturday for years. Please do me one favor — when you get to Heaven, let...
  7. sawhorseray

    FIBS & FABRICATIONS !!!

    A man walked into his Sainsbury's supermarket and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy working in that department told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce. The man was insistent that the boy ask the manager about the matter. Walking into the back room, the boy said to the...
  8. sawhorseray

    BLACK FRIDAY SPECIAL !!!

    An 89-year-old Father of four sons was dying. The family gathered around his bed trying to make his last journey comfortable. They tried giving him some warm milk to drink but he refused it. One of the sons took the glass back to the kitchen and remembering a bottle of whiskey received as a...
  9. sawhorseray

    POINTS 2 PONDER !!!

    Points 2 Ponder ??? 1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? 2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand? 3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know? 4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words? 5. Why do we say something...
  10. sawhorseray

    ANOTHER WEEK ALREADY ???

    If the voting age is lowered to sixteen, this could be what to expect: These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds), found on exam papers. Q. Name the four seasons A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink A. Flirtation...
  11. sawhorseray

    NOTHING THAT'S CONTAGIOUS!!!

    Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven... ☁️ When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: don’t step on the ducks!" 🦆 So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks everywhere. It’s almost impossible not to step on one. Despite their...
  12. sawhorseray

    BIGOTED POLITICAL HYSTERIA, NOT!

  13. sawhorseray

    LIKE 'EM OR NOT, WHO CARES?

    While stationed overseas, a young Marine received the kind of letter no soldier ever wants to open — a “Dear John” note from his girlfriend back home. She wrote that she’d met someone new and wanted to end things. To twist the knife a little deeper, she asked him to kindly return the photo of...
  14. sawhorseray

    NO PLACE TO GO !

    I had a call from a scammer the other day. Me: “Hello.” NOT-Microsoft support: “Hello. This is Bob Bobson from Microsoft Support. We are seeing a lot of virus activity from your device.” Me: “Oh no. My device? Are you sure?” NOT-Microsoft support: “Oh yes, we have many reports.” Me: “Oh...
  15. sawhorseray

    JUST WHAT U EXPECTED !!!

    Guide for Puppies 1. You are the most important creature in the universe, so act that way. 2. If you see it, you can chew on it. 3. When choosing an item to chew, look for wires. They offer a lot of chewing area, and if you chew through a live one, you will get a thrilling tingle. 4. Most...
  16. sawhorseray

    THE LONG WAIT IS OVER !!!

    A mother passing by her daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Mom." With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with...
  17. sawhorseray

    HAPPY MONDAY !!!

    There is no egg in the eggplant, No ham in the hamburger And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England, French fries were not invented in France. We sometimes take English for granted, but if we examine its paradoxes we find that: Quicksand takes you...
  18. sawhorseray

    JOKES ???

    I WENT TO POST SOME JOKES AND THAT THREAD WON'T OPEN UP. IS THIS A GLITCH THAT'S GOING TO GET FIXED? ASKING FOR A FRIEND. RAY
  19. sawhorseray

    TO BE CONTINUED, BUT WHY?

    Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After courting each other, they married. Their union was of course perfect. One night on Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car along a deserted road, when they noticed someone in distress on the side of the road...
  20. sawhorseray

    FORGOT WHAT I WAS HERE FOR!

    THAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU GET OLD! An Irishman and an Englishman walk into a bakery. The Englishman steals 3 buns and puts them into his pockets and leaves. He says to the Irishman, "That took great skill and guile to steal those buns. The owner didn't even see me." The Irishman replied, "That's...
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