Top 6 smart *** answers

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by blacklab, Jul 18, 2008.

  1. blacklab

    blacklab Master of the Pit SMF Premier Member

    SMART *** ANSWER #6

    It was mealtime during a flight on Alaska Airlines.

    'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked! John,
    seated in front.
    'What are my choices?' John asked.

    'Yes or no,' she replied.

    SMART *** ANSWER #5

    A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.

    As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened
    his trench
    coat and flashed her.

    Without missing a beat, she said, 'Sir, I need to see your ticket
    not your stub.'

    SMART *** ANSWER #4

    A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but
    she couldn't
    find one big enough for her family .

    She asked a stock boy, 'Do these turkeys get any bigger?'

    The stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're dead.'

    SMART *** ANSWER #3

    The cop got out of his car and motioned to the young man, who was
    stopped for
    speeding, to roll down his window.

    'I've been waiting for you all day kid,' the cop said.

    The kid replied, 'Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.'

    When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way
    without a ticket.

    SMART *** ANSWER #2

    A truck driver was driving along on the freeway when a sign comes up
    that reads, '
    Warning Low Bridge Ahead.'

    Before he can react, not only is the bridge right there ahead of him
    but he gets
    stuck under the bridge.

    Before long cars are backed up for miles.

    Finally, a police car comes up.

    The cop gets out of his car and walks up to the truck driver, puts his
    hands on his
    hips and says, 'Got stuck, huh?'

    The truck driver says, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and ran
    out of gas.'


    A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.

    'Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here
    tomorrow. I might
    reconsider if a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or
    a death in
    your immediate family occurs, but that's it, I will accept no other
    excuses what so

    A smart-*** guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked,
    'What would you
    say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual

    The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is
    the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly
    says, 'Well
    then, in that case, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your
    other hand.' [​IMG]
  2. meat-man

    meat-man Smoking Fanatic SMF Premier Member

    Those were great but #1 took the cake lol [​IMG]
  3. cowgirl

    cowgirl Smoking Guru OTBS Member

    Good ones! lol
  4. smokin out the neighbors

    smokin out the neighbors Smoking Fanatic SMF Premier Member

    Funny, very funny.
  5. richoso1

    richoso1 Smoking Guru OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    Thanks for the laughs.

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