Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting under a tree one nice afternoon. The first one states,"Slim, I'm 91 years old. My whole body aches, and I have chest pains. You're about my age, how do you feel?" The second gentleman says, "Tex, I feel just like a new borne baby..........I dont have hair, no teeth, and I just wet my pants"! An old man goes into an ice cream store and orders a banana split. The waitress asks, "Crushed Nuts?" "Nah", Arthritis".