For the Seniors among us

[GaryHibbert]

12 LESSONS YOU'VE LEARNED SINCE BECOMING A SENIOR

#1 - Talk to yourself. There are times you need expert advice.

#2 - “In Style” means the clothes that still fit.

#3 - You don't need anger management. You need people to stop pissing you off.

#4 - Your people skills are just fine. It's your tolerance for idiots that needs work.

#5 - The biggest lie you tell yourself is, “I don't need to write that down. I'll remember it.”

#6 - “On time” is when you get there.

#7 - Even duct tape can't fix stupid, but it sure does muffle the sound..

#8 - It would be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 minutes, then come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller!

#9 - Lately, you've noticed people your age are so much older than you.

#10 - Growing old should have taken longer.

#11 - Aging has slowed you down, but it hasn't shut you up.

#12 - You still haven't learned to act your age and hope you never will..

. . . Plus one more

“One for the road” means peeing before you leave the house.
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'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
A sexy babe or hunk catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police

'OLD' IS WHEN...
'Getting a little action' means you don't need to take any fiber today.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the bathroom.

'OLD' IS WHEN....
You are not sure these are jokes

 

[chilerelleno]

I turn 55 in August.
Should I be scared that some of those are already funny because they're true for me?

 

[sawhorseray]

Hell yes Gary, you're only as old as you feel! I feel pretty dammed old now! RAY

 

[old sarge]

'OLD' IS WHEN...
An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the bathroom.

I haven't had an all nighter in years! What is it like

 

[JLeonard]

numbers 3 and 4 describe me to a T right now in my life.

Jim

 

[old golfer guy]

Few years Clint Eastwood was playing golf with Trevis Swift? a country western singer song writer "how do you do it? your 90 years old, playing good golf, directing and starring in a movie at 90 years old. Eastwood answered with " don't let the old man in" Then Travis wrote a song "Don't let the old man in" it was a pretty good seller.






































































c

 

[Brokenhandle]

I love it! And totally agree with JLeonard about 3 and 4! My wife doesn't always like it but as I've aged I've seem to have lost my filter... don't have any problems if I offend someone!

Ryan