Advantages of being a guy ---------------------------------------------------- -Phone Conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. -A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. -You can open all your own jars. -Dry cleaners and hair cutters don`t rob you blind. -You can go to a public toilet without a support group. -You can leave motel bed unmade. -You can kill your own food. -You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. -If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend. -Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack. -If you are 34 and single, nobody notices. -Everything on your face stays its original color. -Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. -You don`t have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming. -You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me." -You don`t mooch off each other`s desserts. -You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift. -If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends. -You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors. -You don`t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. -You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. -The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. -You don`t have to shave below your neck. -Your belly usually hides your big hips. -One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons. -You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.