That's right my friends. The Bear introduced us and we had a first date and we are madly in love. I also have a confession, on our first date I kissed Chuckie. I declare it to the smokin’ gods I did. It could best be described as a scene from the original Rocky movie from 1976 (one of my favorites, by the way). When Rocky and Adrian first started seeing each other and she was in his apartment. I think he said something like this to her, so just pretend I am Rocky and Chuckie is Adrian so I would say to Chuckie:
"I always knew you was pretty. I ain’t teasin’ ya. I just wanna kiss ya. You don’t have to kiss me back if ya don’t want. I wanna kiss you." After one soft kiss, Chuckie responded and tentatively, lightly returned the kiss. After the long-delayed moment, the pay-off was magical and natural. They passionately gave themselves to each other with more kisses and an embrace as they collapsed in each other’s arms next to the smoker.
That’s pretty much how it went down. I may never be the same again. Sooo, here he is in all his 3.5 lbs. of glorious nakedness:
Here he is after I gave him a nice massage and whispered sweet nothings to him. I used hickory and pecan wood to cook my truest of new loves. I roasted several heads of garlic and melted some clarified butter and basted him several times. I just couldn’t keep my hands off him. You know how it is when you are in a new relationship. But, ladies, you better enjoy it while you can because soon enough he'll start burping and farting and picking his nose and coughing up loogies and spittin’ em out the window doing 75 mph, and scratching his privates in public and showing some butt cleavage when he’s at your mom’s house.
I took him to 165F and he was a stubborn little boy for a bit. I thought I was gonna have to get all Mel Gibson on him, but he saw the error of his ways and got up to temp without any further ado.
So I wrapped him ever so gingerly in foil with some extra garlic gloves and clarified butter, told him a bedtime story and put him down for his nap. He napped for only about an hour before he had reached 190F. I didn’t want to pull him, but to make him a chunky Chuckie. Chuckie, Chuckie bo buckie, banana ..... never mind. I had big plans.
I cut him into chunks. Look at that. I think he’s a purdy boy, all meaty and stuff.
Then I heated up my cast iron skillet and seared all the edges on the chunks like so. Then I made a fancy red wine reduction. Pay no attention to the nasty stove, the maid will be here tomorrow. NO COMPRENDE LOVE YOU LONG TIME. Actually she's Korean and speaks no English and I'm very afraid of her even though she's only like three feet tall. She's a Hobbit I tell ya. A Korean Hobbit. She means bidness! She'll probably put me in a time out for making such a mess in the kitchen. "YOU SLOBBY" she will yell. Oh well, where was I:
I sliced up some of those baby portabella’s that I did a cold smoke on just the other day and sauteed them in some EVOO. So I put everything back in the pot to heat the meat through.
So while my beloved Chuckie was doing that voodoo that only he could do, I made some mashed potatoes. I love mashed potatoes alot. I don’t go overboard trying to make them perfectly smooth either. I always use heavy cream and real butter in my mashed potatoes. Why? Well, I like my potatoes like I like my men: RICH and LUMPY!!! LOL! Dang, I just made that up. I should probably try to interact with "real" people more often.
And now my friends, here is the money shot. I grated some fresh parmesan on top:
Thanks for sharing my first romantic experience with the Chuckster. So it is now time for me to put on my big Squirrel panties and smoke another brisket!
Edited by Squirrel - 10/12/10 at 12:43pm