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Application to Date my Daughter

post #1 of 8
Thread Starter 
APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement,
job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.


NAME_____________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH_____________

HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________ IQ__________ GPA_____________

SOCIAL SECURITY #_________________ DRIVERS LICENSE #________________

BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES__________________________________________

HOME ADDRESS_______________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP______

Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No
Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No
If No, explain: __________________________________________________ ___________
__________________________________________________ ___________________

Number of years they have been married ______________________________

If less than your age, explain
__________________________________________________ __________________

__________________________________________________ __________________


ACCESSORIES SECTION:

A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No

B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No

C. A waterbed? __Yes __No

D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No

E. A tattoo? __Yes __No

F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, __Yes __No
pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring?

(IF YOU ANSWERED 'YES' TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION
AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)



ESSAY SECTION:

In 50 words or less, what does 'LATE' mean to you?

__________________________________________________ ____________

__________________________________________________ ____________

In 50 words or less, what does 'DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER' mean to you?

__________________________________________________ ____________

__________________________________________________ ____________

In 50 words or less, what does 'ABSTINENCE' mean to you?

__________________________________________________ ____________

__________________________________________________ ____________


REFERENCES SECTION:

Church you attend __________________________________________________ _

How often you attend ________________________________________________

When would be the best time to interview your:

father? _____________

mother? _____________

pastor? _____________


SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:

Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers
are confidential.

A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:

__________________________________________________ ____________

B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:

__________________________________________________ ____________

C: A woman's place is in the:

__________________________________________________ ____________

D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:

__________________________________________________ ____________

E. What do you want to do IF you grow up? ___________________________

__________________________________________________ ____________

__________________________________________________ ____________

F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:

__________________________________________________ ____________

F. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __________________

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO
THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT,
NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE
WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.


__________________________________________________ _______
Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)


_______________________________ ________________________________
Mother's Signature Father's Signature

_______________________________ ________________________________
Pastor/Priest/Rabbi State Representative/Congressman

Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual.
Please allow four to six years for processing.

You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write (since
you probably can't, and it would cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be
notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases. (you might watch your back)


To prepare yourself, start studying Daddy's Rules for Dating .



post #2 of 8
I like that!
post #3 of 8
Back in high school, i went to pick up a girl for our first date, go there and her dad was cleaning a shotgun, not sure if it was intimidation or it just needed cleaning, we ended up talking guns and hunting for a couple hours, date didn't go well, but got a hunting buddy out of it, and hunt with her husband also.

So, when some guy comes to pick up my dots, i'll do the same, then give this application. got some time till that happens
post #4 of 8
Smokebuzz: Ain't ya doin that backwars?! Your supposed to be the buddy with the father to get the girl ain't ya?PDT_Armataz_01_14.gif
post #5 of 8
tried that once, kinda like daten a sister. but did meet a girl at the boat ramps while duck hunting and dated her for s while, still hunt with some of her family.
post #6 of 8
Hey Smokebuzz,

I had kind a the same thing happen. I went to pick her up and her
dad was in the kitchen sharpening a big long kitchen knife. It was a bit intimidating. He was actually getting ready to roast a hog the next night. I ended up marrying her. It's been 20 years now. He and I got along great. Unfortunately he passed away about 8 years ago.
post #7 of 8
thats a good one....funny............
post #8 of 8
I knew a guy that was a Detail Rep for a Farm/Ranch Supply Company, he sold various castration devices and had mounted one of each item he sold onto a 8 X 4 sheet of plywood. He would take the new fellow that his daughters were going to date out to the garage and show him the "collection" and explain to him what they where. Dad would then invite the lad to point out a device that looked to be the cruelest method of casteration. Dad would then tell then lad "You have sex with my girl or even try to have sex with my girl, I'll hunt you down and use that very device on you. Any Questions?"

Most guys never asked for a second date!!

--------------------------------------------------------------
I was involved in Scouting for 20 years and when my daughters where in high school guys would come to pick up them up for a date and end up having to wait I'd ask them "Are you in Scouts? What's your rank and when will you reach your goal to be an Eagle?
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