Wouldn't this be a great speech????????

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by kookie, Feb 28, 2008.

  1. kookie

    kookie Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?

    My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of the Iraq regime has been completed.

    Since
    C
    ongress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.

    This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq
    . This action will be complete within 30 days. I t is now time to begin the reckoning.



    Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom , Spain , Bulgaria , Australia and Poland are some of the countries listed there.

    The other list contains every one not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list.
    My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

    Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely.
    The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war. THEN EVERY YEAR THERE AFTER ITWILL GO TO OUR SOCIAL SECURITY SYSTEM SO IT WON¢T GO BROKE IN 20 YEARS.


    The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hellholes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

    Need help with a famine ? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France .

    In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home . On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.

    Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France or maybe China .

    I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France , Germany and Russia . Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bonne chance, mes amies.

    I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets.
    [FONT='Aria',l Black]Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York.

    A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.
    [/font]


    Mexico is also on List 2. Its president and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra thousand tanks and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put 'em? Yep, border security.

    Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.

    We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of thi s country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there.

    It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolati onism. I answer them by saying, 'darn tootin.'

    Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thank you guys. We owe you and we won't forget.


    To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic.

    God bless America Thank you and good night.



    If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier.

     
  2. thankyou teacher, thankyou soldier. god bless us all
     
  3. travcoman45

    travcoman45 Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    Would be nice, but it will never happen!
     
  4. that was great only if it would happen
     
  5. grandpa jim

    grandpa jim Fire Starter

    Awesome post! God Bless this Great Nation.
     
  6. michael ark

    michael ark Master of the Pit

    [​IMG]I  dream of the day.Here is a story i 've always rembered.[​IMG]
     
  7. tom c

    tom c Smoking Fanatic

    Great story to bad they got the facts wrong. It was at Fort McHenry  not Fort Henry, it was 13 ships not 1000, the ships were outside of  Baltimore Harbor  , not at sea, and it was a turning point of the war of 1812 there were no colonies it was the  United States of America. I love the history of this country and hate it when someone blow a great story, because the  Battle of Baltimore  is a great story of this great country.
     
  8. michael ark

    michael ark Master of the Pit

    I said it was a story never said it was history.Don't put words in my mouth and if you not in the harbor you in the ocean or on the sea ask any navy man.Their was 19 not 13 ships .Here is some reading for you so you can learn about what your trying to teach me.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Baltimore
     
  9. michael ark

    michael ark Master of the Pit

    P.s.I learned navy history in boot camp at great lakes in wakegin ,IL.GO NAVY
     
  10. miamirick

    miamirick Master of the Pit OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    i will bet money that isn't socialist OBAMA speaking!
     
  11. I love this Country, and everything that our Service Men and Women have done for us. I thank them.

    I respect the teachers I learned from in School. I thank them.

    I love and respect my parents for teaching me to be who I am, no matter what. I thank you Mom & Dad 

    What I don't love is what this countries Congressmen & women, Senators, and House of Reps have done to our home. F off you all suck.

    What I don't love is what the presidents of the recent past have done to our home. F off you Suck too.

    I would love to see everything mentioned in the above post to happen. Not gonna in my lifetime. JMHO

    Thanks

    Mike
     
  12. michael ark

    michael ark Master of the Pit

    Another good one.A one trillion dollar tax cut the 1st year.[​IMG]
     
  13. If only. If only.
     
  14. michael ark

    michael ark Master of the Pit

    Someone actually tells the truth.
     
    Last edited: Oct 26, 2011
  15. tom c

    tom c Smoking Fanatic


    Sorry I wasn't trying to attack you, you are correct on the 19 ships, but being in or near  Baltimore Harbor is not the sea and I don't need to ask a navy mab I am a US Navy veterian.
     
    Last edited: Oct 26, 2011
  16. michael ark

    michael ark Master of the Pit

    [​IMG]It's all good.Enlighten me if it's not the ocean and not the port or harbor what is it?The britsh range was 2,500 yards with the rockets and 2,600 yards with the cannon.If your 2600yards out of the harbor your in the ocean.
     
     
  17. tom c

    tom c Smoking Fanatic

    The northern Chesapeake Bay around 100 miles or more away from the ocean.
     
  18. michael ark

    michael ark Master of the Pit

    So i guess it get it's water from the tap.Even now it get half of its water from the ocean.Once again you are talking about what you don't know.http://www.chesapeakebay.net/factsandfigures.aspx?menuitem=14582  Fort mchenery,It was positioned on the Locust Point peninsula which juts into the opening of Baltimore Harbor .Per the link i gave to you to educate yourself the first time.[​IMG]If it's not the ocean and not the harbor what was it in one word .[​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Oct 27, 2011
  19. tom c

    tom c Smoking Fanatic

    As I said before I am sorry that took my comments as an attack on you, but calling the Chesapeake Bay, or whatever you want to call the boby of water the Sea, is the same as calling a beef hotdog a steak because the meat comes from a cow. 
     

Share This Page