The Great State of Michigan (language)

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by bb53chevpro, Apr 19, 2008.

  1. bb53chevpro

    bb53chevpro Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    Dear Diary:


    Aug. 12 - Moved into our new home in Michigan It is so beautiful here.
    The hills and river valleys are so picturesque. I have a beautiful old
    oak tree in my front yard. Can hardly wait to see the change in the
    seasons. This is truly God's Country.

    Oct. 14 - Michigan is such a gorgeous place to live, one of the real
    special places on Earth. The leaves are turning a multitude of different
    colors. I love all of the shades of reds, oranges and yellows, they are
    so bright. I want to walk through all of the beautiful hills and spot
    some white tail deer. They are so graceful, certainly they must be the
    most peaceful creatures on Earth. This must be paradise.

    Nov. 11 - Deer season opens this week. I can't imagine why anyone would
    want to shoot these elegant animals. They are the very symbol of peace
    and tranquility here in Michigan. I hope it snows soon. I love it here!

    Dec. 2 - It sno wed last night. I woke to the usual wonderful sight:
    everything covered in a beautiful blanket of white. The oak tree is
    magnificent. It looks like a postcard. We went out and swept the snow
    from the steps and driveway. The air is so crisp, clean and refreshing.
    We had a snowball fight. I won, and the snowplow came down the street.
    He must have gotten too close to the driveway because we had to go out
    and shovel the end of the driveway again. What a beautiful place. Nature
    in harmony. I love it here!

    Dec. 12 - More snow last night. I love it! The plow did his cute little
    trick again. What a rascal. A winter wonderland. I love it here!

    Dec. 19 - More snow - couldn't get out of the driveway to get to work in
    time. I'm exhausted from all of the shoveling. And that snowplow!

    Dec. 21 - More of that white **** coming down. I've got blisters on my
    hands and a kink in my back. I think that the snowplow driver waits
    around the corn er unt il I'm done shoveling the driveway. *******

    Dec. 25 - White Christmas? More freakin' snow. If I ever get my hands on
    the son of a ***** who drives that snowplow, I swear I'll castrate him.
    And why don't they use more salt on these roads to melt this crap??

    Dec. 28 - It hasn't stopped snowing since Christmas. I have been inside
    since then, except of course when that SOB 'Snowplow Harry' comes by.
    Can't go anywhere, cars are buried up to the windows. Weather man says
    to expect another 10 inches. Do you have any idea how many shovelfuls 10
    inches is??

    Jan. 1 - Happy New Year? The way it's coming down it won't melt until
    the 4th of July! The snowplow got stuck down t he road and the **** head
    actually had the balls to come and ask to borrow a shovel! I told him
    I'd broken 6 already this season.

    Jan. 4 - Finally got out of the house. We went to the store to get some
    food and deer ran out in front of my car and I hit the bas tard. It did
    $3,000 in damage to the car. Those beasts ought to be killed. The
    hunters should have a longer season if you ask me.

    Jan. 27 - Warmed up a little and rained today. The rain turned the snow
    into ice and the weight of it broke the main limb of the oak tree in the
    front yard and it went through the roof. I should have cut that old
    piece of **** into fireplace wood when I had the chance.

    May 23 - Took my car to the local garage. Would you believe the whole
    underside of the car is rusted away from all of that damn salt they dump
    on the road? Car looks like a bashed up, heap of rusted cow ****.

    May 10 - Sold the car, the house, and moved to Florida. I can't imagine
    why anyone in their freakin' mind would ever want to live in the God
    forsaken State of Michigan.
     
  2. travcoman45

    travcoman45 Master of the Pit OTBS Member

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  3. phodog

    phodog Newbie

    Yup, Two seasons... winter and road repair!! Skeeters too! But you can always gop to the casinos... get rich ... and move.
     

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