Men and Women

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by blackhawk19, Jul 16, 2007.

  1. blackhawk19

    blackhawk19 Master of the Pit OTBS Member


    One vening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed.

    The passion starts to heat up, when she eventually said "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

    I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

    So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear.

    "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough

    for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

    She then responded to my puzzled look by saying,

    "Can't you just love me for who I am, not for what I do in the bedroom?"

    Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep...

    The very next day I opted to take the day off work to spend time with her.

    We went out to a good lunch and then went shopping at a very big department store.
    I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits.

    She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all.

    She wanted new shoes to complement her new clothes, so I said, "Let's get a pair for each outfit".

    We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.

    Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.

    I started to think she was testing me because she then asked for a tennis bracelet
    when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

    I think I threw her when I said, "That's fine, honey."

    She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

    Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said,"I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

    I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

    Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT?"

    I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.

    You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough
    for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

    And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,
    "Why can't you just love me for who I am, not for the things I buy you?"

    Apparently we're not having sex tonight either.
  2. blackhawk19

    blackhawk19 Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    Sorry it's so big, I don't know to make it smaller
  3. bigarm's smokin

    bigarm's smokin Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    Gol darn it, I am still laughing. [​IMG]
  4. dozer

    dozer Fire Starter

    hahahahaha!!!! thats gotta be the funniest thing ive ever read!!!

Share This Page